Dissociative Identity Disorder: Donna Williams, aged 12, switching

I was diagnosed with (Dissociative Identity Disorder) DID in 2010 in addition to my autism. I made this slide show from stills from video footage from when I was 12 years old in 1976. The footage was so fast you get more time to watch it this way. I made it as part of my own struggles in coming to terms with DID.




There's no sound to it as it's only 46 secs and I didn't want to add distractions. The original footage doesn't have audio.

Da is feisty and comedic, Carol is friendly but off in her own world, Marnie is confrontational, defensive.

Looks like Da starts the clip with awareness of her actions, there's a switch to Carol at slide 3 as if she has no idea what she's been in the middle of, then a sudden switch back to Da in slide 5 fully back on track, at slide 9 there's a transition as if Da is momentarily offline, then at slide 10 there's a sudden swipe at the camera by Marnie who looks as if the camera is invading her (probably not aware Da has strode up to the camera) and Marnie is there until the end but someone more aloof exits (possibly Willie).

Also note that Da appears to use her right hand as dominant, but Marnie suddenly swiped the camera with her left.

Switching is not at all always this fast, possibly why those with DID seem simply to be different people on different days, weeks, sometimes hours. But switching can happen in seconds as several alters compete for which is going to present in the body. Each will have a different take on what they've found themselves in. When switching is this fast this is probably why nobody has any sense of being there that day... because there was no continuous sense of time for any one of the alters. We all remember the trousers and the jacket but no memory at all of the day.

Diagnostic background:

I was born in 1963 and had immune deficiencies since 6 mths old. In 1965, aged 2, I was diagnosed as psychotic in a 3 day hospital assessment.

I grew up with some of my selves becoming echolalic, others with Selective Mutism. Labeled emotionally disturbed by primary school, I was diagnosed with language processing disorder in late childhood around 1972 and one of my selves acquired functional speech by age 9-11 progressively paving the way for all to eventually have functional speech.

At 23, around 1986, I was diagnosed with Atypical Epilepsy after having fugues then diagnosed with autism in 1990. I was treated for PTSD for four years in my 30s and diagnosed with DID in 2010.

One year into therapy for DID my Core Self became present full time in the body and after considerable effort began to overcome extreme fear of speech and a marked stammer which had left me believing I was non-verbal I began to speak to people. My team of 9 human alters (all of whom are 'autistic' in different ways), 3 animal alters and 1 object alter (in addition to me as the Core Self) are on the road toward integration.

Thank you for stopping by.

Donna
(Core Self in a team of 13 that includes Katrina, Willie, Anne (branch 1), Esby, Marnie (branch 2), Foosh, Ning, Opie, Polly Carol, Da, Rose (branch 3) and Addie.

My full journey can be found at http://www.donnawilliams.net

Category:

Education

Tags:

• donna williams
• dissociative identity disorder
• switching
• did
• mpd
• alters

[ysimies]

Oh, I'd also like to hear from you about the relationship of co-consciousness as relating to the memory issues. I'd like to place myself on a map but yes, I don't know if hearing about that would help, as there are probably a lot of subgroups of systems out there so even if you knew many different ones, I'd might still present a different one. You didn't have co-consciousness or did you?

[ysimies]

2/2 with ASD clients who use dissociation more or less, you can finally publish a book about dissociation in ASD that is as thorough as the one about exposure anxiety.

[ysimies]

1/2 Hi. I would like to understand better what you mean by "we all remember the trousers and the jacket but no memory at all of the day." Some alter of yours must have remembered what had happened in the past, at least this is fairly common? I suspect I have DDNOS. I have an ok functional memory (if prompted) but if I try to remember my past on my own, my mind draws a blank. I'm so glad you've discovered having alters as I've gained a lot out of your books. Perhaps when you become more acquinted

[kerri0002]

People change their facial expressions all the time, but the difference with DID is that behind these changes are huge shifts in personalities, with the identity of who is fronting or up front changing quickly. And to those with DID changes of facial expression and mood, are worlds apart from the experience of switching and/or co-running.

[kerri0002]

For people who do not have DID it would be equivalent to them sitting at a table with their family and having a conversation. During this it is clear who is speaking and what they are saying, and who is nodding in agreement. Inside however it can happen at a dramatically increased rate. Not so surprising really given that the brain can generate an amazing amount of thoughts in a very short space of time.cont.....

[kerri0002]

I know what you mean about switching quickly Donna, because when we are co-conscious Kerri can start off a sentence, then half way through Jeannie will concur and say the next set of words, whilst two others may agree by the end of the sentence and Michael may finish it off. And during the whole time it is crystal clear to me Kerri, and my alters present, exactly who is speaking when, and who inside is agreeing with what. cont....