Change to match your identity, not deny it.

I thought this experience felt very similar to previous feelings I've had due to being trans, and figured that others may be able to relate with their various personal experiences as well.

It's odd to forget something that was once so crucial to your own identity, but it explains why I've kind of "reverted" a bit to the moody teenage lie of me before I fully realized I wanted to transition.

Anyway, I think many people struggle with living a lie at some point in their life, and this is my second time. Hopefully it's also the last, and things will turn out for the better. I must say, I can't regret it. I've learned so much.

Link to the poly vid: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0ZXAqurseHo

Thanks for watching!

Category:

People & Blogs

Tags:

• identity
• polyamory
• dysmorphia
• monogomy
• love
• omgoneleven
• om111!!
• transsexual
• transgender
• transguy
• trans
• ftm

[moscowmasha]

You are beautiful. I would not have guessed that you were transgender (not that those things can't coexist, those are just the two separate thoughts that came to mind).

[omgoneleven]

@moscowmasha Aww, thank you!  <3

[Gingerandcoco]

okay i'm sorry.. this is the first vid i see of you and i dont get it.. are you trying to be a girl or a boy?!

[omgoneleven]

@Gingerandcoco I'm ftm (female-to-male) and have been living as male full-time for around 6 years now. I wouldn't say I'm trying, however - if I try anything, it would be to allow myself to simply "be." I don't care much for adapting to fit into a mold, but find that I am typically read by others as a gay male.

This video isn't really about being trans, though. I just relate some of the experiences I was feeling at the time of recording it to trans-related experiences I had in the past.

[RaeofSunder]

You are lovely to watch! I totally get the experience you had - It’s like waking up in a dream. Lucidity is a beautiful thing!

[omgoneleven]

@RaeofSunder Thank you. And yes, so true. Lucidity is a great word for what I felt...

[omgoneleven]

@BonesDGAF021 That's something I basically "forgot" when I became insecure and lost myself in the whole monogamy concept. I get the idealism of both, but I'd rather allow love than deny it, for myself and my partner(s).

Sometimes I think I should meditate more, but I could sit and think an entire day if I let myself. I know I function best when I stretch, work out, and just take more physical action. Productivity is a major source of peace and happiness for me. : ]

[BonesDGAF021]

@omgoneleven "it's about allowing love when it happens instead of denying access to it." i liked this girl. a lot. and wish that you could say this to her or plug it into her head so she sees that powerful feelings between us are not something to run away from. you did a walking meditation in your kitchen or wherever by the way. you should strive to try and lengthen it and practice for longer each day...

[omgoneleven]

@lucy666lu Meh, I get bored. Plus I prefer how I come off with this presentation, as I like the edginess of dramatic highlights. However, I seem to never end up doing my hair when I record these... so everyone who sees these videos pretty much never sees my hair as it would be when I'm actually going out. It's always a hot mess on here, haha. XD

[flyer11234]

@omgoneleven "What was all that one in a million talk then?" (Lloyd Christmas--Dumb and dumber) lol lighten up..I'm not after ya...just a lonely nerd is all...(smiles)