Little girl lost...

My continuing struggle coming to terms with the abuse I have been subjected to and my current suicidal ideation.

The song is Scarlet by Brooke Fraser.

Possibly triggering. Please take care of your safety.

Category:

People & Blogs

Tags:

• depression
• dissociation
• dissociative
• identity
• disorder
• suicidal
• ideation
• abuse
• survivor
• victim
• DID
• MPD
• self
• injury

[ROSESANDSTARZ]

Very qood job!! I've wanted to kill myself for just a few months. I tried.. None have succeeded.. So I cut instead.. The pain is jus' to much to handle.. Jus'.. I wish I could jus' die now...

[castorgirl]

@ROSESANDSTARZ I'm so sorry that you are hurting. Are you seeing anyone to help you with the pain and suicide attempts? If you don't please seek some help... there are hotlines which can help get you through the moment, and get you in contact with someone. You can also see your doctor, as they can refer you to someone, if needed.

Please take care,

Sophie

[ROSESANDSTARZ]

@castorgirl No.. Well.. If you consider my ex helpinq yeah.. I'm fine.. Cuttinq ann' wrininq poems always helps me... At least helps me cope.. Thank you thouqh..

[castorgirl]

@ROSESANDSTARZ it is up to you what help you seek, but know that there are options for getting more help if you want and need it.

Take care,

CG

[queenshaina101]

What is the name of this song

[castorgirl]

@queenshaina101 the song is called "Scarlet" and is by Brooke Fraser.

Take care,

Sophie

[FireflyFanatic3]

why does everyone judge me for having scars on the outside?

They're just a reflection, a physical showing of my heart

people don't judge us for having broken hearts, a difficult past, and emotional scars

They judge us for letting it out.............

[marydepugh]

You did a great job on this video; I have wanted to escape many times. I have kept so many secrets that i literally think it is killing me at times. I have a destructive part that is the strongest part i suppose. but i have done things and didn't remember; even injuring myself and waking up the next day and wondering how the hell did this happen.

[castorgirl]

@mrcooldude964 I, for one, don't have a "core" part, let alone a part which is the age of my physical body. I have young ones that attended my university courses, so parts are more than capable of learning - part of the healing process is learning new ways of being for those aspects; so learning is not only possible, but a requirement in the healing process of integration, or co-operation.

Take care,

Sophie

[castorgirl]

@mrcooldude964 what you are saying, is based on the premise that someone is born with their personality formed, but this is not the case. Your personality is formed during our early years, which is why it is early trauma which influences the dissociative coping, and is usually cohesive by age 6-8. Someone with DID didn't form a cohesive identity. Depending on the severity of the dissociative coping, then compartmentalisation of the identity occurs, and memory loss is one of the results.

[mrcooldude964]

@castorgirlFor every alter created there is a piece of the core that is missing from the core. Meaning many dates and times are not remembered. Also the core will lose track of time a lot and do things the core person don’t remember doing because the alters come out, the core has a hard time because the core person is not in full control. it can be a lot of trauma on the core person. I don’t disagree with that. But the core still is as old as the body and still grows and learns unlike alters

[castorgirl]

@mrcooldude964 I suggest that you read some human development books, as what you are saying is contrary to what is known about how a persons personality is formed. I also suggest that you read some modern trauma and dissociation texts, as what you are suggesting is not in keeping with what is known.

Take care,

Sophie