Leo Davidson - Break Up With Him

Happy Valentine's Day everyone. In the amorous seasonal spirit I thought I would upload this song, in which I try to break up a girl and her boyfriend for purely selfless reasons, among which being the containment of sexual disease.

Thanks (again) to Claude Schneider (www.claudeschneider.com) for making the video.

Any similarity to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Lyrics:

Your boyfriend is a bloody saint,
His conversation's witty and his manners are quaint,
His slightest touch would make a heterosexual faint,
He'd never rape, but if he did there'd be no complaint,

'Cause he's a diamond geezer, he's as cool as a freezer,
So how can I compete with fucking Father Theresa?

He's got tonnes of knowledge and a six inch tongue in his head,
He works very hard and does his best work in bed,
And I know you want to stay with him till one of you's dead,
But I think you should break up with him instead...

So he volunteers in a soup kitchen once a week, well, so could I:
I just haven't managed to find the time;
And he always, without fail, holds open a door for a lady,
But in certain parts of the Middle East that's actually a crime.

And he's rash and he's sensitive, and his smile is infectious,
But those are all symptoms of syphilis;
And his medical research may soon cure AIDS, but dont you want to know
How come he knows so much about AIDS in the first place?

And he says he supports gay marriage, but he would never do it himself:
So... homophobic and hypocritical...?
And he was on the England teams for both maths and debating:
Actually I have to admit thats pretty cool...

And that time he stopped that mother of three from committing suicide:
What a meddlesome twat;
I asked him if he would cheat on you with a member of an ethnic minority,
He said no: how racist is that?

And he had mastered the violin at the tender age of 8,
Or to put it another way, he's a kiddy-fiddler;
He's a passionate vegetarian, and he doesn't drink or smoke,
But those things are equally true about Ghandi (who went completely bald and was assassinated by a Hindu nationalist, so, something to think about there?).

He's the shit, but that makes you a fart, because farts go out with shits;
So break up with him, so you and I can finally be friends with benefits.

Category:

Comedy

Tags:

• Break
• Up
• Valentine's
• Day
• Funny
• Comedy
• Ukulele
• Song
• Leo
• Davidson

[SuperJude30]

Well you are right about one thing, he's definitely the better man!! 

[Olijo1910]

I can't hear.

[matthewanisfeld]

the footnote about Ghandi is not properly appreciated

[innerdreams]

Well that was awesome