Twilight Comics Funny-Art by Dragontortoise (With script in Description)

I found these comics on deviantART by an amazingly funny artist Dragontortoise.
I don't own anything
I wouldn't watch if ur too young-U hav been warned

Script:
1-4:
Carlisle: Hey Esme
Esme: Yeah Carl?
Carlisle: Wanna play DOCTOR?
Esme:....What?

Edward: Stop it (Edward can read minds)
Jasper: What?
Edward: Thinking about Alice like that.
Edward: OMG make it stop

Emmett: Sigh
Alice: What's wrong Emmett?
Emmett: I wanted to go hunting with the guys but none were available.
Alice: Why don't you go huting with Rosalie?
Emmett:Hunting isn't as fun with girls
Alice: Oh
Alice: I didn't know you were gay.

Bella: Hi Alice you're really good at putting on make-up
Alice: I'd like to think so
Bella: Have you ever put make-up on a guy?
Alice: Of course
Bella: Like when?
Alice: Five minutes ago.
Edward: Dammit Alice I'm taking your porshe back
Bella: Was that Ed?
Alice: He was willing

5-8
Bella: If it were possible would you and Emmett have kids?
Rosalie: No
Bella: Why not?
Rosalie: Nursing would be hell
Bella: Why's that?
Rosalie: Think about it
Bella: ooooowwwww
Rosalie: Yep

Jacob: Hey sam you know any good pickup lines I could use on Bella?
Sam: Dude you're a werewolf you got plenty of material right there
Jacob: Like what?
Sam: Wanna see my tail?

Alice: Eddie X100
Edward: WHAT??!!!
Alice:Hi
Alice: Tee hee hee *zoom*

Paul: Man I hate vampires
Jacob:Yeah me too
Jacob: Especially that stupid Edward
Paul: Yeah
Paul: We should kill 'im...
Jacob: Yeah
Paul...Then rape his dead body
Jacob: Yea-wait, What?

9-12
Bella: Do you know why we don't have hands or feet?
Edward:Because the artist is freaking lazy!!
Bella: Yeah, what's up with that?
Edward: It sucks coz I can't surf the web for porn anymore
Edward: Er..I mean...uh..
Bella: By all means, keep digging

Charlie: Um, Bella I need to talk to you
Bella: About what?
Charlie: Sex
Charlie: Woah Bella calm down
Charlie: Seriously calm down you're gunna pass out

Jacob: Watcha doing?
Bella: Watching the cullens play baseball
Jacob: Can I join you?
Bella: Sure
Bella: Shit
Jacob: Watch out Bella
Jacob: OMG are you ok?
Bella: I've had worse.

Bella: I wonder what it would be like if Ed and Jacob got on?
Edward: Jacob, why do we hate each other?
Jacob:I dunno, I think I was raised o think that all vampires were honky queerbags
Edward: Yeah, but we're all really the same inside
Edward: I love you Jacob
Jacob: I love you too Ed
Bella: ...Maaaybe not...

13-16
Alice: Oh Beeellaa!!!
Bella: What?
Alice: Come here I've got a surprise for you
Bella:What is it?
Alice: The latest addition of "bridal weekly"
Bella: You'll never take me alive!!
Alice: You're gonna read it and you're gonna like it

Edward: You look like crap
Emmett: Thanks
Edward: What happened?
Rosalie: Emmett get back here, I havn't finished showing you my new move!!
Edward:She's been kicking your ass, hasn't she?
Emmett: Shut up

Bella: Where have you guys been?
Renesmee: Drawing pictures in the living room
Bella: Really what of?
Bella: Jacob, have you been letting her watch animal planet?
Renessmee: Not animal planet, mommy, Leah and her wolf friend
Jacob: Awkwaarrd

Edward: Hey Jasper can you distract the enemy?
Jasper: How would I do that?
Edward: Duh, make them fell fear or something
Jasper: Okay...
Jasper: Oops, wrong emotion
Edward: You disgust me
Jasper: Don't blame me dude, how was I supposed to know Caius and Aro had gay feelings for each other?

Category:

Comedy

Tags:

• twilight
• comics
• funny
• edward
• bella
• vampire
• love
• deviantART
• dragontortoise
• art
• stephanie
• meyer
• run
• leona
• lewis

[xxDotDotDotxx]

i dont get the one with bella and rosalie about the baby ??

at 0:50

[DazzledByTwilightXx]

If I'm honest I'm not completely sure, but it would be a baby vampire. Ever wondered what those were like??

[DazzledByTwilightXx]

.´*•.¸(*•.¸♥¸.•*´)¸.•*´ ♥«´¨• Twilight •´¨`»♥ ¸.•*(¸.•*´♥`*•.¸)`*•.¸ ´*•.¸(*•.¸♥¸.•*´)¸.•*´ ♥«´¨• New Moon •´¨`»♥ ¸.•*(¸.•*´♥`*•.¸)`*•.¸ ´*•.¸(*•.¸♥¸.•*´)¸.•*´ ♥«´¨• Eclipse •´¨`»♥ ¸.•*(¸.•*´♥`*•.¸)`*•.¸ ´*•.¸(*•.¸♥¸.•*´)¸.•*´ ♥«´¨•Breaking Dawn•´¨`»♥ ¸.•*(¸.•*´♥`*•.¸)`*•.¸ ´*•.¸(*•.¸♥¸.•*´)¸.•*

[iLoveTelena]

this is hilarious.

[justinbieberrocks213]

#7 haha family guy reference

[KaTiEZZZZLoL90210]

@xxDotDotDotxx um well nursing the baby would have fangs and well they baby would bite her boobs if ur a guy i understand why u dnt get it

[lezly321]

@xxDotDotDotxx baby vampires......fangs.......brea­st feeding.....owwwwww..... get it?

[Darkprincess45000]

Man 0:26 is funny Lmao

[VampireKissesFan11]

@DazzledByTwilightXx xD i think it means about nessie biting bella when she nurses her -__- xD

but, good thing is, nessie isn't poisonious

[UltinateTwilightFan]

What's with sam and and Jake with the tail thing?

[ImAlloverLove]

@xxDotDotDotxx Breast feeding woud suck

[JacobandNessie1]

haha

"We should kill him"

"Yeah"

"Then rape is dead body"

"Yea-wait what?"

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahah LMAO!! XD

[sweetiefallsinlove]

"Don't blame me dude, how was I supposed to know Caius and Aro had gay feelings for each other?" LMFAO Oh, jeeeeez, so totally LOL!!! XD

[sandy9r]

its because they started problayly making out or something