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Doc (Clique medical school parody)

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Published on Feb 16, 2013

To med students everywhere, with love

Nathan Vitale, Director of Photography: www.NathanVitale.com
DJ Vapor, Sound Engineer: soundcloud.com/dj-vapor
Miles Mueller, Assistant Editor: Vimeo.com/milesmueller
Nature's Canvas by Artbug, Bodypainting: http://www.naturescanvas.us/
The Raven Lounge- Philadelphia: http://www.ravenlounge.com/

MS-IV
Who paging me?

Soon enough I'm gonna be a doc (x5)
Not too much more time and our eyes are on the clock (x5)
We gotta pace ourselves like 3rd degree heart block (x5)
Preparing for intern year might be a shock (x3)

4th years on the floor, 3rd years better make way
Can't no one stop our flow, we like Bernard Soulier
Order a UA, ANA, start X-ray
Mental growth of a baby, I read Piaget
Yup, we call attendings Your Highness
My mouth feeling that dryness, but there's no time for shyness
Downtime's nonexistent like an infant's frontal sinus
I'd try to treat my Ortho Boys but there's no cure for fineness
We focusing on healing, how ya feeling, all the patients we be wheeling
Got no lunch break but we're dealing, we granola bar concealing
Floor to ceiling, articles all stacked and neat
Residency's coming soon, hope you're not getting cold feet

You know ERAS got us by the throat (x5)
Universal precautions, you better take note (x5)
Need vital patient info and can't read a word that's wrote (x5)
We ready to move on now, we want that long coat (x3)

Checkin' IgG, watch that EGD
In lecture look at me, got a GCS of 3
Gram neg diplococci, which bug it is we're confident
Just call us Neisseria, cuz boys givin' us complement
Suturing as students, but soon enough we'll switch
Cuz when we graduate they'll throw MDs on that stitch
I crank out discharge summaries, just toss another stack to me
My debt's got too many digits man, straight up polydactyly
Stuntin' on our sub-Is, we'll emerge victorious
Taking call can be brutal but postcall days are glorious
Med school's laborious, reputation notorious
Students in for like 4 years, that's longer than sartorious
Uh, it's just absurd, that our notes don't contain a single real word
We going hardcore, felt like something tore
Probably a good time to check that anterior drawer

Auscultating each valve in the heart (x5)
Consulting the specialists and checking every chart (x5)
Finishing up shelf exams, I don't feel so smart (x5)
And graduation man, that's just the start (x3)

Our hip screws are dynamic, femoral heads ceramic
Coffee keepin' me pleasantly hypomanic
Teaching underclassmen, direct them on the med stage
They're like our little monocytes, we'll show them how to macrophage
Loving on our faculty, we Golden Apple nominate
Our swagger is genetic, yeah we autosomal dominate
We're working in the OR, covered to our necks
We always wear our glasses cuz we're into safe specs
You know applicants, hustle hard at interviews
Flossin' with their, portfolios and formal shoes
What I'm gonna be? Surgeon is what I tell 'em
Am I coordinated? How you like this cerebellum.
Med student community, prescribing meds and unity
Stand stronger together, just like herd immunity
Thinkin' bout the Match and I develop hives
Cuz a computer algorithm is determining our lives
Give a cheer, cuz graduation's near
And at last all your gunners can throw out your notes from 1st year
Sanitizer everywhere, we so fresh and so clean
Don't know which is finer, my girls or my Prolene
Knowledge in my brain like neurocysticercosis
We gettin' so happy when we make a diagnosis
But Mr. Student, unless you'd like an ecchymosis
You can study spine but not my lumbar lordosis
Dilate for achalasia, screening for dysplasia
I get asked a question, get sudden onset aphasia
Rockin' med ethics, we got mad scruples
Minds open like mydriasis cuz we're excellent pupils
Med school, learned a lot and made some mischief
Til residency not much time is left
One thing's for sure, you know we love our patients
From the bottom of our hearts, leads II, III, aVF
Gonna be a doc

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