Clinical Depression: The Pain

Self-explanatory. I had removed the original video. I re-edited it.

Category:

People & Blogs

Tags:

• clinical
• depression
• anger

[Societydropout2012]

Andiv138 smoke some weed, it might help a little bit

[AndiV138]

@Societydropout2012 I have heard some people say weed can help depression sufferers, but I never touched any illegal drugs (its legal in CA... I think). I'll just have to put trust in trying to find my faith to help see me through the dark tunnel.

[pillowbugg]

Thank you for sharing. I understand all too well your situation.

I feel guilty right now. I have been hiding things from my psychologist the past two months, and today I wasn't entirely up front with the university psychiatrist, whom both independantly diagnosed me with severe major depression with extreme psychosis, recurrent...

I have been unable to determine what that exactly means...

I fear hospitalization...

Should I tell my psychologist my secrets?

[AndiV138]

@pillowbugg hi, I struggled with honesty in front of the psychiatrist because I have trust issues. I refused many medications, and had to stop seeing some of them because they had either dropped me or too expensive. Sometimes the things you say can be used against you, but if you feel help is very necessary, then I would tell the truth about your feelings/symptoms, but there is no guarantee that a doctor will think hospitalization is not required.

[AndiV138]

@Sfireblue I agree with your daughter's comment. I try to perform acts of kindness regardless of how horrible I feel. I know there are so many things that are far more worse than depression. I'm trying to re-establish a connection with God because I feel life in itself is offering no answers to how I can achieve wholeness and feeling as one with with the world. I just feel so disconnected right now.

[Sfireblue]

@AndiV138 Thanks for replying. I too wish there was an easy remedy. The best anyone can do is to go with the flow and simply be when you feel you cannot do anything else. I just watched the sobering documentary Gasland about frracking. Things like that make you feel there is no hope at all for the world we live in. My daughter once said "In a world that is doomed every act of kindness is precious". She's right and we should also be kind to ourselves, so we can carry on!

[AndiV138]

@Societydropout2012 I hope I will not always feel this way. I have to put in my head that there are worse things and situations in the world than depression. I feel disconnected from my surroundings, and there really is no support system where I can vent to someone. All I'm told is to "seek therapy," & everyone thinks my problems will just vanish.

[AndiV138]

@Pull4UK My depression may have been caused by emotional pain from a painful past, but possibly a chemical imbalance. Psychologist have suspected the imbalance, but nobody knows for sure.

[AndiV138]

@Sfireblue I also have several people in my family who do not understand how depression affects one's daily activities; including social behavior. I am not taking meds anymore because I received no relief from them. I have not even seen my therapist because he is too expensive, as well as a waste of time, in my opinion. If only there were pills to make the misery disappear.

[AndiV138]

@xBlackEditionx So many things; I feel like everything is just falling apart. I have so many things to say, but I have been feeling too horrible to create another video.

[xBlackEditionx]

So what were you depressed about?