I don't wanna be a cisdude

Discussing the pros and cons about being read as a cisguy and how to avoid stealth

Category:

People & Blogs

Tags:

• Transgender
• ftm
• f2m
• transboi
• genderqueer
• stealth
• queer
• transguy
• transfag
• copenhagen
• denmark
• cisguy
• cisgender

[thefinmore]

As always, amazing!

[beckmaaaaaan]

@thefinmore :) thank you! Xo

[Popeslave]

Fuckin' awesome video, Beck! Thanks for posting this! I feel very similarly to you & while I'm not able or don't want to be out 100% of the time, I do come out to new people quite often & generally live my life out & proud. It's challenging & requires constant thought & attention to not just fade into the privilege if ya know what I mean.

[beckmaaaaaan]

@Popeslave Thank you :)

Yes exactly. Happy to hear that others are aware of this.

xo

[MrImportrans]

It's the same thing as being open about being gay, I guess. People'll assume you're straight until you let them know. I think it's the easiest if you let people think you're "just a guy" and just bring it up if the conversation happens to be useful. Then at least they'll get to know you as a guy (I'm assuming that's what you want) first.

[beckmaaaaaan]

@MrImportrans Hmm i'm not sure if it's the easiest. Well of course they have then grown used to seeing you as a guy, but maybe feel traded when you come out. Maybe its not everybody's business, maybe it's just not a topic that comes up that easily. Maybe i should stop worrying so much about other people and do what feels right!

[TheSnowyice]

Hey you're pretty brave for having that outlook. I would suggest wearing transpride stuff, like our blue/pink/white flag, or the transgender symbol. (You know the purple/pink/blue one with the arrows in a ring for transboys, transgirls and everyone in between.) There are other ones too of course but those are just the ones that I really like. Take care. <3

[TheSnowyice]

*Stares at the ass in the painting behind you the entire time.* Heheh just kidding! xD lol I'm not THAT immature. :P

[ClosetTransgender]

Hey this is good. I was immediately sucked in by the title. Great video. Wish I had a smart comment. I stuck on the opposite side, wanting to be read as a cis-dude, but your video makes me ask, "Well, what if I was?!"

[sillyyetsuccinct]

When I first moved to Uppsala I was stealth for a couple months but I finally started having one-on-one conversations with different classmates and professors and told them it's not a secret so they've told other people. Allies are a beautiful thing. My thesis advisor's bestfriend transitioned to female a few years ago :) I also just let it come up in conversation like little things like "blah blah but that was before I transitioned to male" Can't wait to see you soon! We shall talk more :)

[DexxOnT]

i salute you- your view is courageous. Outing yourself all the time is exhausting and there's often a right time to do it, so i think we neednt be hard on ourselves for not wanting to do it every time. I do not choose stealth, and am out to everyone who knows me, but at the same time i dont wear a big badge saying 'trans' (except in online profiles!). I want to be an individual first, a transperson after. And I agree that the new privilege is uncomfortable

thanks for this vid x

[BillyBarnacle]

@beckmaaaaaan it is a testament to your tremendous social conscience that you would feel compelled to out yourself to better the position for trans people that follow in your footsteps.But it is important to recognise that the one friend or employer you told with no previous knowledge of trans people, who now sees a kind, intelligent person and not a label, well you have changed them and maybe their children or friends. It may seem small scale but it does make a difference. xo