Demo Mars — Projectile (feat. Cee-oldier Green)

Download link right hurr: http://www.mediafire.com/?qeiy3m2bzn33fz5
Album artwork, made by the fantastic Illustruction right here:
http://i675.photobucket.com/albums/vv112/illustruction/demomars3.jpg

Dedicated to TriggerHappy560, the first person to "get" my username, and to whom I have owed this dedication for nearly eight months. Huzzah!

The winds of Dustbowl rage as a lowly Demoman seeks to prove himself in the eyes of an experienced Soldier.

LYRICS

Chapter One: The Newbie and the Veteran

Each of you has failed. If I have to crack some skulls,
I will. I joined this team just to kill maggots like you.
You are the sorriest soldiers I have ever seen.
Which of you numbnuts let us down?
(Demoman burps)
DAUGH NO
You one-eyed cross dresser! THIS IS MY WORLD.
YOU ARE NOT WELCOME IN MY WORLD.
I never liked you. You cannot run from me!
Stop hiding and FIGHT LIKE A MAN!
(Demoman clearly has no idea what is going on)
(Chorus 1)
It's called a zoo! UNLESS IT'S A FARM.
Surrender now, maggots, and you will not be harmed!
Next time you want to kill a man, LOOK HIM IN THE EYES!
We have you surrounded—at least from this side!
I will claw my way down your throat.
I will herd you onto a boat
Then beat the crap out of you.
You cannot hurt me!

Chapter Two: The FlameWAR Update!

If you were huntin' trouble, lad, you don't have an excuse!
I'm gon'ta liquefy ya. Gon'ta blast ya into juice.
I'm a black Scottish Cyclops! Don't come wide with me!
They got more f*ckin' f*ckers than they got the likes o' me.
I love your death, Cyclops. Your death is sweet to me!
I am ablaze with passion. FOR WAR.
Lot o' good that soldier trainin' did ya! I'M DRUNK!
Last one alive lock the door!
(Chorus 2)
You're all bloody dead!
I might o' taken a bit too much off...YOUR HEAD!
They're gon'ta find you all dead.
In your language...EAT LEAD.
I had me good eye on you the whole time!
You appear to have trodden on a mine!
Imagine if I hadn't been drunk, heh heh...

Chapter Three: The Part Where He Isn't Drunk

HAHAHAHAHAHA
THUS BEGINS MY THOUSAND YEAR REIGN OF BLOOD!
AH HAHAHA
I KNOW EVERYTHING!
BURN
IN
HELL!
I win!
Now THAT is what I wanna see!
Cheers, mate!
I am going to enjoy killing each and every one of you fruit-f**king scum-sucking—

Chapter Four: Friendship is Manic

(Both choruses at once)

Alert! A friendship has been detected.
(Chorus 3)
Ha! You fight like a girl! Take your lumps like a man.
They're gon'ta bury what's left of you in a soup can!
If you know what's good for you, you will RUN.
You're a back-pokin' devil, and by god you'll DIE like one!
You deserve a medal, you skirt-twirling drunk.
Your ass is ass, and I'm the grass-man, punk.

(Soldier closes a giant storybook and turns to face the audience)

And from that day forward, anytime the Demoman and me are together in one place it's an amazing killing spree.
If I wasn't the man I was I'd remember this.
You have honoured this entire unit.
Thanks mate!
You were good, son. Real good. Maybe even the bAUUEEEEAAUUUEEUUAUAAUUGHH
Aw CRIPE! THAT wasn't supposed to happen.

LEGAL CRAP

This song is licensed under a Creative Commons license. That being said, you're not allowed to say YOU made it! I would have thought that to be obvious. And by the way, saying you made it THREE TIMES is not a valid loophole.

I don't own the rights to Grenade. I don't own any of Bruno Mars' property, in fact. Anyone who has told you otherwise is a scheming liar who is plotting my downfall.
I don't own the rights to Team Fortress 2, or any of Valve's other property.

Category:

Comedy

Tags:

• Demoman
• Soldier
• Grenade
• Bruno
• Mars
• Hijinks
• on
• the
• High
• Seas
• Team
• Fortress

[RoadyNStuff]

Did I hear Bill..? Hahaha

[mymapagainstyourcash]

@RoadyNStuff I hope not, I didn't put him in this song. Or...?

Oh god

He's become sentient

SAVE YOURSELVES FROM SINGULARITY BILL

[keavoncp]

Was that last sentence from Shrek?

[mymapagainstyourcash]

@keavoncp Nope.

[theif519]

Wow, a lot of the domination comments against Demo vs Soldier were because the Administrator put them up against each other. They were actually once best friends.

[mymapagainstyourcash]

@theif519 Consider this the prequel.

[Queenkid11111]

does the soilder ever actually say fuck?

[HereticsGen]

@mymapagainstyourcash I do think I hear bill scream at 3:36, after the spy. Or who was it?

[IuberPyros]

i always hear "in your language: it lags!" and think: oh clever demoman how he know???

[altofsamih]

Bloody amazing

[darkshaver1]

WARNING WARNING HARRY POTTER

NERDS CODE 3 LOCK ALL THE DOORS!!!!

[GordonFreemanD40]

@sarahrider23 hermione? you mean Harry, Ron, and Hermione...

[GordonFreemanD40]

@Neverwishy HEADHEADHEAD!!!

[Arrwzyfrrzynhezzi]

@bombingparadise EEEEYESSSS!

[bombingparadise]

Head Phone users are now demigods of team fortress 2

[bombingparadise]

WHENS THE NEXT DAMN SONG COMING OUT!