Your opinion on: Forgiving and Forgetting by Paulo Coelho

You cannot forgive another - because all that this implies is that they abdicate their responsibility onto you - to release them of what they accept and allow - they don't change - this is not Self Forgiveness. Thus each must forgive themselves - and within that you take responsibility for yourself and what has been done to you - to stop cycles of abuse.

In short I find myself in the other and see their world as me and forgive myself, because at the moment I state I forgive another I am not truly forgiving but merely separating myself from the other and judging the other. forgetting is storing experience for another time to experience.

I'd say the point with forgiving (and forgetting!) is that you take responsibility for stopping the cycles of mutual harm - if the other continues his/her harm that is his/her responsibility and there is consequence for that, as all harm is allways only done to self

thanks for putting out this question

To stand Equal to all that exists and to Realize we are all products of our environment, allows us to take Self-Responsibility, See what weve missed to see, and Correct ourselves to live so, that Life is honored in all ways; Be a living example for others for All to realize Life as Equality, in Self-Responsibility.
Thus in-essence, there is no Forgiveness. There is only Self-Forgiveness because its about Self-Realization.

Someone who hurts others is most likely to have suffered by others. And because we dont learn to be self-responsible and to see through the patterns of cause and effect often the only way to redeem ourselves appears to be revenge, hurt, to make things even.

Which is why I dont believe in justice as a point of balance of good and evil. It all exists within all, there is no good without evil and visa versa. None of the two can ever win.

Consider that who we are in this reality is mostly what we were taught: Patters we copied from others our environment, parents, peers, schools, movies. We defend those patters as if it's who we are, with a logic that makes us right, and we mostly fail to consider the consequences of who we are and how we exist and participate.

You make sure you do all that is in your power to reveal what is really going-on. Then let go, forget which is an act of forgiving yourself for believing you can save everyone for instance, or believing that you havent done enough. Let go. If there is something more you can do, you will be faced with the same or a similar situation where you can see the point you 'missed'.

After making sure that hurt is not a emotional reaction of ego and that one is clear within oneself and has taken responsibility for ones own experiences (after all, we create our realities according to who we are) one can communicate to the person that has done an act that is unacceptable for Life and show them exactly what is going on. Show them they can be equal to you: responsible, forgiving, acknowledging.
If this is impossible, make it public, take responsibility. And let go.

In relation to the people of your past, to forget only means that you do not define a person to attributes of the past according to your memory and experience of that person which is an act of Forgiveness because you are not limiting the person to something or someone, you actually consider that change and transformation is possible after all, you have changed yourself, why should another not be able to do the same? You wouldnt like others to limit you to their own memory of you.

To forget does not mean that you cannot recall the events and people you faced in your life. It only means that you, in a similar event, are free to act new, instead of remembering your past reactions and thus following them as a program. No rather direct yourself according to what youve realized. Which is the point of transformation, actual change.