Fall To Sleep - Original Song

love the sound of your voice. whats odd is that this cheered me up even thought it has a rather sorrowful meaning to it :p p.s. rawr :D

So, yeah.

Keep it up, all that jazz. The piano's definitely good. Has a nice sweeping urgency to it. Just don't forget to ask yourself: 'What am I trying to say with this song?' This way, it won't lose its meaning, and all of the thematic elements can remain cohesive: the melody, the lyrics, the chord progressions, the tempo -- everything. THAT's what makes a hit. Well, and a hook. ;)

Good luck! And remember -- BE YOU. I want to hear Rachel. Not Amy. Besides, you could be even more unique.

This bridge is all right, I think. It's just more pitch problems.

Ooh. Ouch. The cadenza at 2:36 needs a lot of work, and possibly, some digital smoothing. Kinda hurts. You may be a mezzo, and are stretching your range there. (It's okay. Parts of 'Good Enough' are still rough for me.) I'm going to bet you're mezzo -- that C5 sounds like my E6. In other words, top of the range, way out of the tessitura, and needs some work. Vocal exercises.

It also throws you off pitch for the next verse.

Hmm. Okay, the only hook is the piano here. But I like the key. Again, it's very difficult to find yourself as a new artist. (I'm almost 30 and have barely written 2 songs in my lifetime; my father's written dozens. It comes to him naturally; I'm more of a cover artist.)

But we all have our own unique style, and when beginning, it can be difficult to get lost in those who influence us. You may think this IS you -- but it's not. Just feels that way right now. The separation will come in time.

Now, THAT piano is a HOOK. Key's good, but you're off pitch. (It's okay. It's tricky. I used to fall off pitch a LOT when I was your age. It takes practise.)

I'm not in love with the melody here. One verse is enough. Play with the second; higher pitch, perhaps quicken the pace. It feels too monotonous, rather than mellow and haunting.

I'm hearing way too much Amy Lee here -- not in a good way. You need to be YOU. There's potential here, but it's being muddied by trying to be something else.

Good voice *w*

Yayz! New vids! You have to take me one week! :P Also goods at TQ :)
xxAl

Fantastic work as always :)