Narcissistic Parent: Collateral Damage

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Being the child of a parent who has narcissistic personality disorder or is simply a narcissist is extremely challenging. The person grows up deferring to the parent as the main person in the room always. They are not at all allowed to feel or have problems. They are consistently having to fight for any and all attention as the parent is the only one allowed to have problems of feelings. This video talks about this syndrome and also about how people might begin to free themselves from this type of suffering existence in their own adult relationships.

Category:

Education

Tags:

• narcissism
• parents
• healing
• relationships
• anxiety
• narcissistic
• personality
• disorder

[aseelbar]

as now i got my self confidence back (i never ever had any confidence of my self), as now i can just ignore her negative comments about me all the time, or having fun of me infront of others and insulting me infront of others. only one thing left, when i see the way she treats my other siblings, the love and care she gives them for nothing in return, but me, no matter what i do, i am just me, the "nothing" daughter of her. i wish i dont see her for the rest of my life.

[aseelbar]

she made me feel like a loser, she made me feel ugly, she made me feel retarded, she made me cry everytime i see a successful person as she made me believe that i could never succeed in anything. as a reader i could finally spot the signs of narcissism in her, i read alot about the subject, and for the first time in my life i cry out of happiness, finally i can find explanation, finally someone believes me and not going to tells me "SHE IS YOUR MOTHER AND CAN'T HATES YOU"!

[onegreeneye]

..i would have a traingin to be at their mercy....- i had ability to feel for people.. like normal person.. but, would be foolish & attract the same controling ones..- u know..so much to unlearn..& not mirror-as u say HOW to react or treat people.. oh..one thing i have seen in myheart, that i learned, didnt like, was this..i learned that when one spoke of pain, i used to tell of a more worse hurt than what i saw theirs was..cause i was taught this.. now i can react & feel more appropriately.<3

[onegreeneye]

<3 <3 <3 thank you..i needed this.. i still remember your words of wisdom.. - its interesting..the child can pick it up, as in habits..or ways to interact with others..im learning.. but, good news..we dont have to have it...- its TRUE to the narc..you are never good enough.. they r controling..have an agenda for u.. i have learned so much since first watching of this..the Jezebel Spirit is another name for it..u prob knew.. - i learned i was so empathetic & trained to be a doormat..but now not.

[Hottielvr]

you are amazing! im almost 22 and just realizing why i have felt empty for so long.... i was giving for so long and not receiving, finally i can cut these "people" off and live for me now! THANK YOU!

[Monikblessed]

I am 45 yo and I always thought that my mother was just crazy and thought it had a lot to do with why I would walk right into toxic relationships and always had trouble identifying my feelings. I learned very recently that she is a Narcissistic. She is also very selfish and never reallydoes anything for anybody unless there is something in it for her. My issue now is how do I continue to detach from her? I would also like to know about resources and support groups in my area?

[GrumpSkull]

@fetishisticrose I learnt to anticipate them, most times just to confirm not going mad with their demoralising control game. Renovating our home I had to go through my parent's room to mine. Only nessesary for a few months but mum kept the old room just so she could monitor and falsy acuse me of weekend drinking when 17. Dad left a hole in the wardrobe floor and said nothing. Once I went through the man hole anebriated just to dupe her. She was in total batshit confussion the next day. Ha!

[fetishisticrose]

@GrumpSkull wow I wish I would have said that to her..he he...but then , I'd be lucky to have lived. I know it sucks....but I have realized that I can just avoid her. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!

[GrumpSkull]

It took me 45 years to cotton on to my mothers crap. I didn't know it as narcissism at the time. She would visit and degrade me for working on a computer for 15 years because she couldn't use one. I noticed we argued for no apparent reason. I thought it must be idiosyncratic so I logically thought I was half the process so I was careful to not react to such. Same thing! I ended up pointing out to her regularly 'Mom do you realise you are having another argument about nothing' She would shut up.