Forgive the Narcissist?

Everything you Need to Know about Narcissists, Psychopaths, and Abuse - click on this link: http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/faq1.html

Forgiving is an important capability. It does more for the forgiver than for the forgiven. But it should not be a universal, indiscriminate behaviour. It is legitimate not to forgive sometimes. It depends, of course, on the severity or duration of what was done to you.

(From the book "Malignant Self-love: Narcissism Revisited" by Sam Vaknin - Click on this link to purchase the print book, or 16 e-books, or 2 DVDs with 12 hours of video lectures on narcissists, psychopaths, and abuse in relationships: http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/thebook.html)

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Tags:

• forgiveness
• forgive
• forget
• trauma
• abuse
• abuser
• narcissist
• narcissism
• love
• attachment
• relationship
• bonding
• healing
• spouse
• mate
• intimate partner
• coping
• behavior modification

[CeltsClaire]

... thank you, Sam.

[ruby2411]

Sam is so right on the nail with how that should be in order to move on. I had so many ongoing relationships with my family and ex partners that has been so toxic. And one day realised what had happened. Its like I woke up from being dead for so long.

[coomadoug]

I have to ask one thing.

How do we forgive someone who does not allow it?

Forgivness requires apology or some form of recognition, does it not?

We are talking here about moving on, accepting reality and forgiving ourselves for being so overly altruistic.

After a time we love ourselves again. We then look to our tormentor with an adjusted empathy.

Now, this experiance renders us feeling great pity for our tormentor. We find ourselves attracted to people we admire.

[xSmashHeaven]

you cannot beat the narcissist at his own game since she's a master of mind games. he/she got a whole bag of dirty tricks up their sleeves. so you have to oppose them wholeheartedly and move on to better things.

[Kathydrel]

Not very many comments on this subject, but well done Sam just the same : )

[time2matter]

tnx Sam! many kudos to you!

peace & love

michael

[babsfreedom]

Thank you from me too.

[Swampymcswamp]

I cant forgive an abuser, but I can understand that abuser is just a representation of a parasite on society (deviant lifestyle). We all have been mislead/deceived in our life time and the best thing we do is recognize this and pick ourselves up onto a contributive path in out life.

I hold those that represent such behavior as deviants on society only deserving disillusionment and abandonment.

[HatRatt]

I did the damage to myself by trusting and loving an image of the relationship I wanted. That IMAGE was molded by my upbringing in unattached & abusive foster homes where I was treated as unimportant (except on payday). I desired to have a "normal" and "good" family to which to attach & become a significan part. The "Christian" family image I chose had a few narcissists and (now I laugh) I married one and joined the "road show." Today I am FREE of both religion & N Thankyou for your videos.