Yes, believe it or not...but our family has been dealt another huge blow. My beautiful Grandma (my Mom's Mother) passed away on July 14th.....just two days shy of my Mom's birthday. These past 15 months have really taken a toll on our family.
The day of my Dad's viewing, my Grandma was rushed to Emergency because of her heart. So after my Dad's viewing, my brother's and I rushed up to the hospital to check on Grandma. The following day at my Dad's funeral, I completely lost it. It was just barely a year after my Mom passed away, I'm burying my Dad, and then there was the chance I would lose my Grandma. It was a very difficult day to get through.
The week before my Grandma passed away, I went over to her house (they let her out of the hospital) to see her. My Tia Mary and Tio Pon were taking her for a stroll in her wheelchair. I will never, every forget the look on her face when she got closer and saw that I was there. Her face lit up and she gave me a beautiful smile. I took her for a stroll myself and we parked underneath a tree so I could keep her in the shade. We talked and talked. As good as she looked, I didn't think that I would lose her. She looked so good.
My Grandma was a beautiful person both inside and out. She was the closest thing you could get to an angel. She was the most sincere and loving person I have ever met in my life....and how funny. She had that innocent humor about her that I will definitely miss. At my Grandma's funeral, I finally got the chance to meet one of her dearest friends, Dorothy Coleman. My Grandma was part of a group of ladies that worked together and kept in contact for years. That's the type of person my Grandma was.....she cared.
Growing up, I lived with my Mom, my Grandma, and stepdad......for 30 years!! When I was younger, it was always my Mom, Grandma, and I. I was the youngest of three so I had to tag along with them....but I am so glad it worked out that way. The three of us were so close. So when my Mom died, we took it very, very hard. I remember I would go visit my Grandma and we would just sit there and talk....and cry...and hug. Close to my Mom's one-year anniversary, I took my Grandma the cemetery and we just sat there and cried. My Grandma used to cry and say, "mijito, why did she leave me?" My heart would just crumble when I heard that. I find myself saying that when I go visit them.
I won't lie to you and say that my faith hasn't been tested because it has. I would ask the Lord, "what have I done so bad that you would punish me like this?" or "what makes you think I can handle this?" But as I spoke at my Dad's viewing, it's not about me. It's not about us. God knows what he's doing....and he had other plans for them. Both my Mom and my Dad suffered throughout most of their lives with their illness. So God put an end to it. My Grandma was truly lost without my Mom and she became increasingly ill. God put an end to that, too. It's taken me almost two months to finally start believing that.
I go back to work after the Labor Day holiday and it's really hitting me hard today. Why? I think it's because it's the beginning of me moving on with my life. I won't lie...there's a huge void in my heart that I know will never, ever be filled. But I pray to God that he does forgive me of all my sins....and does call me home to be with him and his angels...Mom, Granny, and Dad.
Granny.......I miss you so much already. Pray for me, ok? Like you did when you were here, I ask the Lord to listen to my prayers and to call me home. Never before have I been so ready. All those dreams you used to tell me about.......that you would be in the woods and you could feel Mom's presence, but you couldn't see her..............or that you could only see the back of her head and never her face? That feeling of loneliness is gone now, Granny. You're not lost anymore. You're back with Mom and I can just see you two.......happier than ever before.....hugging and crying and looking down on us. I have this incredible sense of calm knowing that when I enter into eternal rest, you will both be there holding your hand out to me. Until then, please give Mom a huge hug and kiss for me and tell her until your blue in the face.....how much I miss her and love her. And don't forget Dad.....he needs some huggin' and kissin' too.
I love you Granny....
E-stacy
*The song used in the video was actually recorded at my Dad's mass. The choir is from my church (I sing in the Contemporary Choir) and they were accompanied by friends and members of St. Vincent's Church in Pontiac, Michigan. The song, Sanctuary, is performed in both Spanish and English. A very special thank you to my cousin, Marina....for sharing her beautiful voice. I love you, Cuz!
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Just wanted to say sorry for your loss, I just lost my grandma 01/15/2010 3 days ago, from heart surgery, she told me that she loved me and all of her grand kids 3 days before she passed, she was also my godmother, I love your video, and know what your going through, God Bless you and your family.
guard121981 2 years ago
@guard121981 Thank you very and I"m so sorry to hear of you loss. Grandmas are a beautiful thing ....and fortunately for me, she was also my 2nd Mom. I love and miss her so much. Thanks again and God Bless.
stacesanchez 2 years ago
when i see your video,then i want to visit my grandma now......You don't cry,i think your grandma want you don't cry
puiling2010 2 years ago
Thank you Puiling2010.....give your Grandma a big hug for me. God bless.
stacesanchez 2 years ago
i am so sorry sweetheart :(
wishi2929 2 years ago
Thank you wishi2929......God Bless.
stacesanchez 2 years ago