How to Ask Someone to Be Quiet in a Movie Theater

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Don't you just hate it when a fellow moviegoer provides a running commentary? Here's how to silence the squawker.

To complete this How-To you will need:

Self-control
Persistence
Daring
Theater management

Step 1: Identify the evildoer

Positively identify the miscreant. You don't want to wrongly accuse someone who appears to be speaking, but is actually just chewing his popcorn aggressively.

Step 2: Consider moving seats

See if there's a seat you can move to without much fuss. In these situations, an avoidance maneuver is always preferable to a confrontation.

Step 3: Assess your adversary

Assess your adversary. Does the loudmouth have tattoos that might have been acquired in prison? An aura of insanity? A weapon? If so, it's probably best to wait until the movie comes out on DVD.

Step 4: Start out nicely

Begin with a polite approach. In a soft, calm voice, explain that while you are impressed with how well he is following the plot, you'd appreciate it if he'd keep his observations to himself.

Step 5: Kick it up a notch

If he ignores you, raise your voice a notch and say you are begging him to pipe down, as you paid good money to hear Daniel Day-Lewis's voice, not his.

Tip: Ask loudly if anyone else is bothered by this boorish behavior. It's in your best interest to get the entire theater riled up against noise.

Step 6: Complain to management

If nothing is getting through to this chucklehead, complain to management. Even if the "manager" is a pimple-faced teen, he has the authority to throw out unruly customers.

Step 7: Request a refund

If all your efforts have led to naught, plus you've missed a good chunk of the movie, politely request a refund. If you come off as reasonable, you might even score some free passes.

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[jessigirl102]

You will need popcorn and a good aim.

[TiitiOmega]

I knew what the top voted comment would be immediatly when I saw the video title xDD

[sunnysurfer18]

Step 1:Say Shut Up!

Did you know?

Circles are round?

[TheBrownAthlete]

the politicians!

[CHRISTHAKIDD]

you will need the: the ablity to kick some ones ass

optional: a type gun martial arts technique

[justmeabm]

step 1: shut the f*ck up

[Kreachor]

Yeah....Moving one row ahead will be a big difference....

[ThePorschelover123]

@jessigirl102 Or you could bitch slap them

[TheAlexandra211]

You will need:

Vocie

Fists

Tell them to shut the fuck up if not proceed to punch them in the gut.

[TheIceSamurai]

you need a shogun

[HiImDave12]

take some of there popcorn or snack and tell them to shut up to get it back.

[Peacegirl82323]

fuck this i just say what the fuck dude shut the hell up!