It has been three weeks. Three weeks since my fight with Miley. Three weeks since I got the bekt spanking. Three weeks since I last smiled, or laughed.
Three weeks since Nick and I talked.
I was depressed. There was no other way to describe it. I never talk, I barely eat, and I don't dress up. I basically roll out of bed, put my hair up, pull on some jeans and a pullover and go on with my day.
I've fallen off on my monitoring of my blood sugar. I'm usually really low, constantly needing juice or a power bar to have enough energy to do anything. I barely eat anything. My brothers, well Kevin, Joe, and Frankie are worried. So are my parents. My dad thinks it's his fault, but Kev and Joe have assured him it's not.
Adam texts me everyday. He knows everything, and wishes he was there to knock some sense into Nick. I miss him so much. Kevin and Joe are with me whenever they can be. I sleep with them most nights. I'm just so lonely. I need them there so the pain will go away.
Nick...well Nick doesn't even act like I'm there. He won't look at me, touch me, or anything. I miss him more than anybody knows. He hasn't even told me he loves me in these three weeks. And whenever he and Miley comes around me, Miley kissed Nick on the lips right in front of me, just to flaunt that he chose her over me.
The pain is unbearable. Spankings, i can deal with. Josh hitting me, I can get through. But Nick not having anything to do with me is worse than anything I can think of. I need him, but I won't admit it.
I'm depressed, and it doesn't look like that is going to change, anythime soon.
*****************************
"Nicole, dear wake up." My mom whispered. I opened my eyes. She smiled at me. "Good morning sweetie."
I just nodded.
"Are you going to eat this morning?" she asked, as I sat up in my bunk. I shook my head. She sighed, and walked away. A minute later, Joe appeared with a bowl of my favorite cereal, Frosted Flakes.
"You gotta eat Kiki." I shook my head again. "You are eating Nicole. Check your blood sugar now."
I did so silently. I was low.
"What is it?" I didn't answer. I tried to put it away before he could see, but he snatched it out of my hands. "43! Nicole!"
I looked down. The only thing I had eaten yesterday was an apple. Joe placed the bowl of cereal in my lap, and leaned against the side of my bunk.
"Eat." I took a bite. I was hungry, so I ate it all. He waited beside me until I was done to speak. "Mom and Frankie went into town for the day. Dad is on the recording bus to speak with John Fields. Come on."
I wanted to say no, but he threw me over his shoulder. I let my arms hang as he carried me into the front room. He sat down on the couch, and I landed in his lap. Nick was there, he didn't even acknowlege our presence. The pain increased. I drew out my phone, and began looking through it, as my brothers began a conversation.
My fingers brought my screen to 'My Sounds'. The conversation was staring at me. I glanced up at Nick. Maybe I should just play it for him. I began to way my options.
PLAY IT FOR GODS SAKES!
Mulcahey41 1 year ago
PLAY IT!!
gabsnicole 2 years ago