TV CARNAGE: BETTER'N' SEX

"Exercise is the next best thing to sex. Actually, in some cases, it's better."-Randi

Randi: Exercise can definitely be better than sex. Exercise never got me pregnant and gave me the choice between dropping out of one of West Virginia's finest community colleges or becoming sterile due to a botched back-alley abortion.

I don't have to spend half my monthly paycheck on herpes medication because one time I got drunk and exercised with some stranger in a combination Pizza Hut/ Taco Bell bathroom.

When I was a little girl, my step-father never came home late at night smelling of whiskey and forced exercise on my fragile 14-year-old frame. He didn't hold me down on my mattress and painfully exercise me as I choked back tears.

I don't cry every time I exercise or think of exercise.

Category:

Comedy

Tags:

• TV CARNAGE
• TVCARNAGE
• STREETCARNAGE
• ADULT SWIM
• WORKOUT
• PUMPS
• GIRLS
• GYM
• STRIPPERS

[Deewruck]

anyone have an 80's boner?

[therealmcnulty]

oh Randi.... You had me at actually. 

[spiderpig85]

My 80's boner reminds me of Tom Hanks in 'Bachelor Party'.

[Deewruck]

@Cypress77 oh yes and with a distinct blockbuster smell.

[Cypress77]

@Deewruck What's an 80's boner look like? I'm guessing it's really hairy.

[dehdehsac323]

@kramcas2 lawl

[kramcas2]

I think Randy used to be a man. 

[godrodemyscooter]

Bust in the besiness