BOY INCHOATE (not work safe)

A film by Virginia Barratt about transformation, about a body trying to find a language, about a body being read and reading itself, about a gender journey, about a nascent boy. This film is about Becoming. Made by Virginia Barratt, based on a piece of her writing entitled "Boy Inchoate", the film was produced with Spencer Smith. The film is dedicated to Spencer and is about his journey, as interpreted and perceived by Virginia and with additional narrative by Spencer. Original soundtrack by Sarah Waterson. 2009.

BOY INCHOATE

I've had my eye on you
for a while
watched you
Becoming

you

grrl becoming notgrrl becoming...

boy inchoate

and now, on the brink of transformation
i look at you out the corner of my eye
passing
and wonder
what to call you
and when

i wrap you in the binder of love
run my hands down your chest and over your stomach
slide down your body
fall on my knees and
bury my head at your zipper

draw the long line of you, boy
slender hipped
and so handsome.

this is how i see you

despite the glaring exposure of domesticity
unraveling gender

every time you undress for a bath.

this is how i see you

as you walk in the door,
gumboots and overalls,
smelling like a barn..

this is how i see you
skinny jeans and tie

this is how i see you

behind a curtain of smoke
closing your eye against the tearing of it

you, walking awkwardly into the world
in your new clothes

you are beautiful, boy.

You can find Virginia Barratt here: http://www.youtube.com/user/t0xxxx

And Spencer Smith (featured in the film) here: http://www.youtube.com/user/smithsmithboy

Category:

People & Blogs

Tags:

• boy inchoate
• virginia barratt
• smith smith
• transgender
• ftm
• mtf
• film
• poetry
• trans
• transman

[t0xxxx]

thanks for persevering with this upload carson. i'm so glad that a wider trans audience is getting to see it. V.

[TransCultureTV]

@t0xxxx Thanks for making a beautiful film. :)

[smithsmithboy]

i look so little!! i love that you put this up carson! fantastic work!

[TransCultureTV]

@smithsmithboy awww, a baby trans boy! :) Brave of you to share this part of your life, and this film, with others.

[planetscollision]

Intensely amazing film "am I a boy, I feel like one" that right there, that line just had my mind filled with my past. Thank you for putting this this up and thank you for letting this part of your life out. Your not alone.

[PhxVanguard]

Cute little dance @1:40. Thanks for sharing.

[sinevesterdeus]

lovelovelove.

[t0xxxx]

@rivenrock thanks so much, it is one of the most favorite things i have ever made. i'm glad you got to see it too, thanks to carson and transculturetv. VB aka @t0xxx

[eawass]

I love how in the end it's still okay to "undecided."

[rivenrock]

This video is all kinds of good. It's not just the actual content (what was said, what was left unsaid and open-ended, the images chosen, the style of the voiceover) which is all interesting and thought-provoking, but also the editing is genius. This is the kind of short film that reminds me how effective a medium art can be to convey ideas and experience. Just brilliant. I'm really glad I got the chance to see it.

[cu3cards]

This was so cool of your to post, Carson. Awesome!

[dylanwikifoo]

WOW! This is a really moving & intense film. The feelings expressed are certainly in my history and fresh in my memory. Thank you for sharing. We see so many transitions but so few from so early on and from more than one perspective.

[CodyOriole]

For lack of better words, this is very touching. I'm glad I've had the opportunity to watch it.

"Am I a boy? I feel like one."

[tfpunk1979]

Love it Spencer thanx Carson for putting it up <3