SUDDEN DEATH INSTANT KNOCK OUT

I had to move into my mums house because I don't have a real job. I have a sweet view now though so... Bonus!

Facebook:
http://www.facebook.com/mattmulollandmusic

Twitter:
http://www.twitter.com/matt_mulholland

Website:
http://www.mattmulholland.com

Category:

Comedy

Tags:

• Instant Death
• babies
• flying monkey
• e=mc2
• vaginas
• occupy

[MrDwebble]

Dear Matt,

I decided I needed a new direction in life and wanted to become a Pirate so I followed your step by step on how to do so. After a few months, I found out being a Pirate wasn't for me and I actually just looked like violent transvestite. The only problem I have now is that I have a hook for a hand. Is there anyway of fixing this?

Thanks for your time,

Johnny x

[masterofxdk]

Dear Matt

sing me a song!

[sp3cialkelly]

Dear Matt,

I will fight @Perfectprinces1517 for your hand.

Pick me.

Your future wife.

[Canderson159]

dear matt

what is a vigaina-boob?

thanks

[Perfectprinces1517]

Dear Matt

I Love you (: Will you marry me?

[V0r4xiz]

@MrDwebble Must be the funniest question ever since Sort Your Shit Out existed ^^

[MetalheadAlex9]

Dear Matt,

How many penises would it take to screw in a light bulb?

[BigWaveLadyDave]

Dear Matt,

I just moved back in with my folks too, and would do a housing swap with me? I think your cowboy outfit would go over well in Texas.

[Bombastuss]

Dear Matt,

I want to have your babies. The only problem is that I'm a dude.

What should I do?

With bundles of love from Sweden, Sam

[trombonepenguin]

Dear Matt,

I live in the United States. It sucks here and I want to move. What's it like in New Zealand? Is it better there than in America and why?