Women Who Return to Abusive Men

Psychotherapist Explains Why Women Continue to be Abused

Category:

Education

Tags:

• Relationships
• Abuse
• Women
• Psychotherapy

[sunsagleaming]

women go back to abusive men because THAT MAN is one of the FEW in their WHOLE lives that ever made them feel loved. to be loved is a primal human need. if you dont get it growing up from your parents or some other dysfunctional reason then when you have it you will hold on to it with all you have because it TRULY is a matter of life or suicide and sadly sometimes it gets you killed by the person you love. so parents LOVE YOUR KIDS!!!

[healingwords]

@sunsagleaming It's true we all want love and unfortunately we may mistakenly think that control and abuse is at least attention that substitutes for love. It takes a lot of strength and courage to leave an abusive relationship when all you have is yourself and you feel inadequate. You are so right that parental love is the best safeguard against becoming involved with an abusive person.

[sunsagleaming]

@healingwords i never thought of it that way...that putting up with abuse is at least some attention in a world that doesnt care if your alive or dead.

[healingwords]

@sunsagleaming Many women, especially young ones mistakenly think that a guy who is controlling and focused on what they wear and who they talk to and is suspicious and putting them down and blaming them for everything must love them a lot or at least care. Often it's because he's afraid that if she feels too good about herself she will leave him so he makes sure to tell her how stupid and wrong she is.

[healingwords]

You are right, a man brought up in an abusive home and sees his mother being abused often becomes a perpetrator himself. This doesn't conflict with my theory of why women stay with abusive men. She may also have grown up seeing her mother abused. Growing up in an abusive environment is hurtful to children of both genders.

[gaisensie]

sometimes i really hate men and i wish they would all die! exept for the nice ones.

[getrealthen]

what about the man being brought up in an abusive home, and they become the perpetrator,

so ... your theory has just been blow all to hell

my parents were no abusive towards each other, but loving and caring and nurturing.

i am in a relationship with an abusive man, my god he is so abusive......what the hell is wrong with America....why can't America get a hold of this situaion once and for all.

these men ( and yes women too) need to be put in prison for abuse,

Men are more guilty

[YksiSuomalainen]

@Eincrossfire 90%+ of guys are nice guys, but girls don't go for them. They only go for the bad boys. I've run out of sympathy for women. You pick the bad boys you want to be with and then try to complain to get sympathy also. Either leave the bad boy or stop complaining.

[YksiSuomalainen]

Women don't pick nice guys. They pick the violent bad boys who they can't control. And the women could leave the bad boys at any time, but they themselves don't want to leave.

So either leave or stop bitching for sympathy. You can't have both.

[LowFlyingTortilla]

Thank you for your insights. My girlfriend has a father that neglected her as a child. She is suffering from depression and taking medication against it to be emotionally stable. Often she says "You're just like dad". I am worried about the nature of our relationship. It seems that I have to make all decisions. Also she does not respond will to compliments but thinks I am not honest when I say she is beautiful. Is there something I could do or should do to help her build more self-esteem?

[Eincrossfire]

@gaisensie There are no such things as nice guys... and if there is they won't be later.

[bluemountain555]

@kyokushinfighter78 So haivng said that, can a girl who are attracted to controlling and abusive men be all "that" intelligent? Otherwise, a very intelligent woman would never be attracted to such abusive men.