Clash of the Titans- VUW Trimester Two Sunday Indoor Football Final (309BYCFC vs Icy Boots) Part 1

The Victoria University Sunday Indoor Football League Final for Trimester Two 2010

This is, simply put, a dream final.

On one side, the seasoned 309BYCFC, veterans of two previous campaigns. Placing 3rd in 2009, the lads suffered an undignified loss to the killjoys Suddaccas to place 2nd in Trimester 1, 2010. Having put their past demons to the sword in the quarterfinals, 309BYC cruised through their semi-final bout and are looking to finally reach the pinnacle of the gloriously bleary-eyed shambles that is Sunday morning football. More often than not, players are to be seen lying on the sidelines, unable to move due to the inevitable Saturday night antics, but do not let that fool you, this is one star-studded team.

Drawing from highest ranks of the regular Saturday football leagues, 309BYC boasts such talent as Robbie Hunter (reportedly in talks with an Italian Serie B side), Shane Mahy (Phoenix non-travelling reserve) and mysterious import Vikram Jayawant. Alex Novak trades in his skates for equally flashy footwear to shore up the team's striking abilities, while enforcers Joshua Vincent Hickford and Adam Clark adopt a more touchy-feely approach to the beautiful game, in a "Hi, how are you, here's a dropped shoulder" sort of way. Rob Green protégé Michael Candy is no stranger to physical play himself, more than willing to bounce an overeager striker. Jacob McSweeney is released when 309BYC has a comfortable lead, and generally tends to run around like a headless chicken while making grand wagers. He currently owes Raiko Shareef $5.0038.

On the other side is Icy Boots FC. A club of amateurs, the side has sent shockwaves through the Sunday tournament by emerging with the minor premiership, a perfect run of six wins out of six games. One of these included a victory over 309BYCFC (4-2), stunning pundits who now feel that a mixture of overconfidence and excessive energy expended in the form of 'banter' led to the veterans' downfall. A healthy concoction of amiable attitude, latent skill and telepathy has transformed the Icy Boots game into a mesmerising spectacle.

Key to their success is water-polo-warrior-turned-keeper James Bascand, who seems to deflect dangerous shots with sheer Jedi mind-power. Zak "Red Mist" Meyers thankfully puts away his gimp-esque cape crusader costume to don the metaphorical golden boot, often playing with no shoes on. Jesse Strafford adopts a calm approach to the defensive midfield position and uses sunglasses to protect his eyes from the harsh indoor lighting. Oliver Carr and Sam Franklin provide a display of fitness and dangerous athleticism in the midfield while Blaine Abraham belies his physical presence with subtle touches and blinding finishes. Dave Williams puts his Army training to good use, not afraid to roll hostile players who stand between him and his objective. Icy Boots promotes equal opportunities in the workplace by letting third-worlder Raiko Shareef on the field occasionally.

When asked to comment on this exciting match, 309BYC FC's self-proclaimed manager Alex "Ferguson" Handley said, "banter banter yarn if I were playing banter hopefully we don't score too many own goals banter yarn." Some of the conversation was lost in the inanity of his words.

Regardless of the outcome, this will be a match to go down in the annals of the less-topical, more informal history books. Come along and watch (mediocre) history in the making.

Written by a sinking Maldivian (Raiko Shareef)

Category:

Sports

Tags:

• Victoria University Wellington
• Indoor Football
• Indoor Soccer
• 309BYCFC
• Icy Boots
• Student Life