How To Lose Your Virginity

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You're going to remember this for the rest of your life, so make sure it's memorable for the right reasons.

To complete this How-To you will need:

A willing partner
A comfortable place
A plan
Some towels
Some lubricants
A little self-restraint

Step 1: Choose a partner

Pick the appropriate person to be your partner—you don't want to surrender your precious gift to the first "playa" who smiles your way.

Tip: If you're embarrassed by your inexperience, choose another first-timer, so you're on equal footing.
If you want to make up for lost time, choose an older partner who's "been there, done that."

Step 2: Pick a location

Pick a location that will be comfortable and secure for both of you, then make sure it's presentable—nobody likes a skanky love shack.

Tip: Things could get messy; place a towel or two in strategic locations so you don't lose any momentum when the action heats up.

Step 3: Make yourself presentable

Make yourself presentable too—nobody likes a skanky lover, either.

Step 4: Wear convenient clothes

Wear clothes that come off easily. Once you get the green light, you don't want anything slowing you down.

Step 5: Get birth control & condoms

Get your birth control in order—make sure you have fresh condoms on hand and anything else you may need.

Tip: You may also want to have some lubricant on hand in case first-time jitters leave one of you high and dry.

Step 6: Set the mood

Set the mood—a little atmosphere goes a long way.

Step 7: Welcome partner warmly

Welcome your partner warmly; make sure they know they're the most important person in the world to you.

Tip: If your partner is nervous, tell a bad joke, perform a stupid trick, do anything to make them laugh.
If you're nervous, talk about your fears and reservations with your partner—clear the air with some good old-fashioned honesty.

Step 8: Pick your moment

Wait until everything's going smoothly and the two of you are really clicking then make your move.

Tip: Don't try any funny stuff: no sex toys, no crazy positions. You just got the training wheels off, now's not the time to go burning rubber and popping wheelies.

Step 9: Take it on home

Now go get 'em, Tiger—it's smooth sailing from here on out.

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Category:

Comedy

Tags:

• virginity
• howto
• howcast
• sex
• condom
• lose

[laur121212]

how to lose your virginity

step 1 : go to prison

[TonyLopez0127]

Optional: .....willing partner

[hottdoll22]

I heard my parents having sex that last fact reminded me of the noises! *shivers* :/

[becky8088]

Why are there tacks in which the condoms?!?!?!

[GodFatherNaruto]

@jessbeth01 because it's funny, perhaps?

[Georgeqaws]

lol the old people are jokes

[AyannaxProductions]

1) Why am i here im 13 2) He's like 100 years old!!!

[nicolesamsonite]

I don't mind "skanky lovers"

[BRWorks]

- Step 1: If you're a virgin, skip to step 7

- Step 2: Heterosexual? scroll to step 10.

- Step 3: Make sure you're at least 18 then go to step 9.

- Step 4: If your partner is willing, go to step 6.

- Step 5: In case you're religious, look at step 3.

- Step 6: Marry her. Then have sex.

- Step 7: If you're a guy, go back to step 2.

- Step 8: If you masturbate regularly, go to step 3.

- Step 9: Go to step 4 only if you're not drunk right now.

- Step 10: You masturbate regularly? return to step 5.

[facethemusic1344]

ugh! get someone younger!!!!

[Chrisgodoflard]

@laur121212 I got an easier one:

step 1: go to a back ally

[DeOptimist]

@chrissytaylorjohnson It was a lie until step 9. They were both virgins...