My father the guy who is never wrong.

He never thinks he's wrong even though in most cases he's always wrong. Some examples: ever hear of asperger syndrome, well in my dads mind it comes out to assminus...not his funny way of making a joke he really think its called assminus.

Ever hear of a coupon. Well in his mind his coucon.

Let's do another one... Ever hear of a phone, that thing that most of us carry in our pockets. Well when his brain regurgitates it out it ends up being phome. Somehow street ends up being streek. It's strange. I love my dad, he did graduate high school at 21. He said its because he didn't wanna go to Vietnam. He may be telling the truth. That's utterly genius though. He does have theories on everything. He's a character.... Oh yeah he did end up going to Vietnam and serving. He quotes the Mel Gibson film we were soldiers and say he was in that unit after the events of the film. I digress, he ended up going because he would show up a little late every time he had to take his physical. So they just kept rescheduling him. You know how bureaucracy works. They didn't notice. Well his mom, my grandmother got scared for no reason because she was on welfare, public assistance, and dropped the dime on her son. They figured out what he was doing and sent him to Vietnam. He sent all of his money home and she used it to send her favorite son, his lil brother to college and bought him a car. She said he would help the rest of the family...he didn't.

Anyway my dad is still a veteran. He fought bravely and after that worked many years near love field being an aircraft machinists. Yes a guy who can't properly say the word phone or street was fixing airplane engines. On an unrelated note have I ever mentioned that I've never been on a plane in my life. Neither has my mom, sister and one of my brothers.


Ok some context, this took place during a family roadtrip to my moms aunt, my great aunt, grandmothers sister funeral. It entails a debate about the merits of eavesdropping on conversations, which my father is particularly fond of while my mom is on the phone. A lot of the time he will repeat what he heard to anyone who listens, supermarket cashier, bus driver, V.A. orderly, whoever. My brother lectures him on the issue. The children will eventually become the parents.

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