Saying Goodbye

In the last two weeks, I have had two people in my family die. My sister's mother in law and my 102 year old grandmother. I discuss how these are the first deaths since I have become an atheist.

Category:

People & Blogs

Tags:

• death
• funerals
• faith
• catholic
• belief
• atheism

[heatherlynblue]

sorry for your loss, nancy. the first one i went to after losing faith was for my then boyfriend's mother. his sister was a nun who insisted i do the rosary with them. it was close to an hour of going through those beads. since it was my first time doing that, i had enough anxiety going from one bead to the next to totally exhaust me and keep me from worrying about other things. ; ) your grandmother sounds like she was a really neat lady. i wonder if you counted the berries to make sure.

[Nanee715]

@heatherlynblue Wow rosary bead anxiety. I wonder if that is in the DSMIV. Too funny. Yes we counted the berries. It was an on going family joke.

[8journey8]

When my mother died 15 years ago, I was a fundamentalist and believed we would greet each other, love each other, share recipes with each other over the fence, in paradise. I grieved her departure and missed her passionately. But I thought I'd see her again. Four years ago my brother in law died. It was the first time I realized it was truly OVER. And to my surprise, I was okay with it. I didn't mention my atheism to other mourners, and that was OK too. Eternal life? I don't need or want it.

[Nanee715]

@8journey8 Did you mourn the loss of your mother all over again, once you relaized you would never see her again?

[SkepticsUniverse2]

Yep. During a funeral is not a time to bring up not believing in god. The people around you are grieving enough, and if believing in something even if it's false makes them feel better, I'm not going to be the turd in the punchbowl. Condolences for your loss.

[Nanee715]

@SkepticsUniverse2 Exactly. Their grief was so profound. It would be cruel to take away that hope from them by imposing my view point.

[CerisePsyche]

I am so sorry for your losses. I have missed you here and wondered where you were, I will be honest on the funerals, I did not feel it was appropriate the reveal my atheistic beliefs and comforted the people in the words they wanted to hear.. I think that is a human thing to do. It wasn't the time to be all knowing and act as if I know because truthfully with the idea of Quantum theory who knows what really happens, maybe they pass on to a different existence? Hopefully happier!

Take Care

[8journey8]

@Nanee715 ..Actually, I am surprised to say, no, I didn't mourn her all over. I think as long as I knew she was done with her life, it would be okay when it was my time to be done. Also, I am much more sensitive about quality of life, and I don't want any kind of dependent, pain-filled existence in my final years. I may have to move to Oregon, but I want to be able to have a say in when I have had enough. Of course this decision would be fueled by a desire to be free of pain and independent

[Nanee715]

@FireWhisp Thanks I appreciate it.

[Nanee715]

@verstehstmichnicht Thank you for your comments, I appreciate them.

[verstehstmichnicht]

Nancy, sorry for your loss. Honestly, I from what I have seen, you just being you is enough. From what I have seen; your compassion and respect for others will always lead you in the right way. I couldn't ever see you as being offensive in situations like that. I can see fundies and certain atheists telling people "how it really is". Those people are extremists & tactless. The fact that you even make a video talking about this reflects how you really care about people and how they feel.