Boston Crossword Puzzle Competition Song

Ode to the Third Boston Crossword Puzzle Competition

I wrote the lyrics hastily in the time between competition puzzles.

Folks who enter Boston's Crossword Puzzle Tournament'll
Speed through puzzles rapidly whether in pen or pencil.
They'll fill out a long across clue with a conjecture ballsy
As they huddle over fold-out desks in Science Center Lecture Hall C

Joon Pahk hit the cycle with a Tuesday or a Monday
The theme was Boston -- nice one -- it's a Caddy not a Hyundai.
I rushed through the next one to hand in summat quickly
But it takes some chops to complete one by Brendan Emmett Quigley.

Crosswords, Crosswords, mind-amusing,
Crosswords, Crosswords, time-abusing,
Crosswords, Crosswords -- hard words in perversity
But we sat and did them all at Harvard University.

The third one up in this list of puzzle contestables
Is by Will Johnston who we hear is somewhat obsessesed with "L's"
If only we could use smartphones, there might be a plug-in that
Could help us solve the tricky clues prepared for us by Duggan, Pat.

Crosswords, Crosswords, with bad trick puns
Crosswords, Crosswords, our addictions
Crosswords, Crosswords, woozy crackhead nightmares
Our days are filled with nothing but clues and black and white squares

I don't know what will happen as we come up to the finals
The tension's dialled to eleven, like the amp of Tap that's Spinal
The speedy leaders try to be the first to find the right words
To fill in the fatal squares on those tricked-out white boards.

Crosswords, Crosswords -- thrill sports hustle faster
Crosswords, Crosswords -- Will Shortz Puzzle Master
Crosswords, Crosswords -- they teach us to spell we think
Our thanks for a fine afternoon to Mark Warren and Chelsea Link.

Category:

Music

Tags:

• Crossword
• competition