Byron Katie - My mother is selfish and controlling 1/2

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[trappedsoul7]

hello katie, my mother is ignorant of me because i'm selfish controlling and manipulative. is that really true? no. turn it around! i'm ignorant of my mother because she's selfish controlling and manipulative. yes... Now THAT is true. she really is selfish and controlling, is she not. hello katie, i think i need to respect my values better. can that be true? no. turn it around! my mother needs to respect my values better. yes, because that's really her job. makes sense?

[IslandForYou]

@trappedsoul7 If you had read any of Byron's books you would know that you're only turning around your own issues that would bring you back into your own business..

[trappedsoul7]

@IslandForYou i read one of byron katie's books, and i agree with many of the things she said, i.e. that thoughts usually don't reflect reality and usually don't have any relevance regarding truth. my point is, if thoughts are generally not true, how can their opposites all of a sudden be?

if my mother doesn't have to respect my values, why should i all of a sudden have to? it doesn't make any sense. i am not trying to be disrespectful, it's just my opinion. please don't turn this around now ;)

[IslandForYou]

@trappedsoul7 Yes, but the difference is if it bothers you or not. You either stay or move away from those people. If your mother is disrespectful towards you - then she is the way she is - and like Byron Katie often says "You don't have to be a part of it". But when she is annoying to you then it's time to do something.. If you turn it around "I am disrespectful towards her" it might not be the right turnaround or the answer could be "sometimes".. or move to the next/replace mother to "people".

[whoopsiedoop]

My parents controlled me all my life. I went out into the world believing I was as worthless as they said, and that I was killing them if I didn't accept it. That was their job?

[IslandForYou]

@whoopsiedoop Their job = That's what your parents did (or still do). That's who they are in your case.

[TheRealSaucyWench]

@whoopsiedoop So maybe they didn't do a good job. But it won't help you to always want them to change - they aren't going to. If you don't agree that you're worthless, then live your own belief, not theirs.

[savvybell]

New Story: I love hearing myself, I love what I am and who I am. I am worthy and unconditionally loved! When I feel angry I Acknowledge it and find a safe way to express and release it. I became a different person through practicing what it feels to be love . People sense my self-confidence and self-appreciation. I attract people more often who feel warm and fuzzy and to me rather than me having to defend myself. I now I feel trust in myself!

[savvybell]

I like how Abraham (Abe-Hicks) talks about this similar subject w/ someone in their workshop.

He said, "People are reflecting back to you how you feel." And I get this because I have experienced what this girl experienced." Generally with in me my feelings were low-self esteem, and a lot of buried anger. It took me a while but I see when my affirmations were, I AM not worthy to be heard or understood. By law of Attraction, I attracted people who treated me that way.

[matsgu77]

@trappedsoul7 The question is if it´s really her job to respect your values when the evidence of your reality says she´s not? Maybe it´s your job to respect the reality? You will have a lot mor difficulties changing her, don´t you think?

[TadRapidly]

@trappedsoul7 The work addresses stressful thoughts. If you enjoy your stressful thoughts then there is no problem. Honestly.

[Hauntedscotland]

if your parent is a full blown narcissist, there is no way being more understanding would lead anywhere. all one can do is run for one's life, and one should.

[MsSpiderification]

Thank you for posting this. I needed this message. BK's style of teaching is direct and cuts right thru the extra stuff to the heart of the matter.

[Leohasdoneitagain]

Byron tells people not to concern themselves with how others think and or to suggest to people that they might do things any differently whatsoever...

While she makes her living by doing that very thing.

Questioning the hypocrisy of that behavior is healthy.

Keeping to legitimate clinical treatments for clients is the ethical and fair thing to do. The above is just one person's thinking, and it should not be confused with well-founded clinical practices or psychology.

[Leohasdoneitagain]

Byron tells people not to concern themselves with how others think and or to suggest to people that they might do things any differently whatsoever...

While she makes her living by [u]doing that very thing[/u].

Questioning the hypocrisy of that behavior is healthy.

Keeping to legitimate clinical treatments for clients is the ethical and fair thing to do. The above is just one person's thinking, and it should not be confused with well-founded clinical practices or psychology.

[TadRapidly]

@MsSonya273 Whatever technique you use, the truth remains the truth and everything is leading us in that direction. One can speak about techniques all one wants to but the core answer is simply true forgiveness. There are a million ways to discover it.

[MsSonya273]

@whoopsiedoop There's nothing to "admit" -- my mom's abusiveness is not something I'm ashamed of. It is her business if she wants to continue to be abusive or not. It has nothing to do with me! :)