Animethon 15 - Tales of the Abyss "The Plague Called Yaoi"

Empire Productions presents it's first ever Animethon awarded skit!
Thanks to our camera-woman Tear~

Aki - Luke
Mr. U - Jade
Cheat - Asch

Animethon 15, Senior Division Runner Up.

The script is copyright of Akkiko T. and Mr. Unimportant. Please do not take without credit.

Script is as follows:

Luke: Testing... testing... is this on? How does this fontech work? Uh... where's our expert on this?
Asch: Where is Guy anyway?
Jade: I believe he's being chased by fangirls.

Luke: Uh, anyways I still don't know what you see in Natalia. She's such a whiny bi... bi... biiirat!
Asch: Damn even your brain must be seven. At least Natalia has emotions, kissing Tear must be like kissing a statue.
Luke: Ew! Why would I wanna kiss her!?
Asch: And this is why you will never get laid.
Luke: Laid? Why would I wanna get laid? Do I look like an egg to you?
Asch: How could someone so inferior be my replica? Dreck!
Luke: *mumbles* that insult again... Hey Asch! I've been meaning to ask, what does Dreck mean anyway?
Asch: It... uh... it's.... DRECK. *exits*
Luke: Hmph, it's German to Renji Abarai wanna-be. Well, now that I'm alone nothing like advanced algebra to satiate my intellectual cravings. It's so tiresome to have to act psychologically inept in front of my comrades. Damn fandom.

Luke: DAH. JADE. WOULD YOU STOP DOING THAT??
Jade: When you have that heart attack I've been waiting for.
Luke: You're horrible, what do you want?
Jade: Why Luke, I didn't know you understood advanced algebra. Why... are you actually smart?
Luke: *kicks the book across stage* Me? No, no way, I thought it was... how to... light... stuff on fire... for dummies. ... plus one.
Jade: Really now? Well as your senior I suppose it is my duty to educate you on the finer things in life, a duty I have been regretfully neglecting. However, that ends today. Very well Luke, I shall... educate you.
Luke: Uh... what?
Jade: We'll begin with the most important of matters. Luke, someone of your intellectual standing would probably not know the meaning of our kind's most fatal plague.
Luke: ... what?

Jade: You see, being bishounen as we are, we tend to gather an unfortunate amount of attention from the female consumers of our product.
Luke: Our... product?
Jade: Our game, Tales of the Abyss.
Luke: Oh right. Uhm, what kind of attention?
Jade: I'm so glad you asked. Our first lesson will be about... yaoi.

Luke: Ya... oi....? NO. NO WAY. NO WAY IN HELL I'M-!!!
Jade: Ah, so you've heard of it Luke?
Luke: Me? Uh... no, no way. Ye-a-oi? It sounds like a brand of garbage bags.

Jade: Well then if you don't know, I suppose I'll have to teach you. Come to my rooms.

Luke: *freeze* .......... OKAY. ALRIGHT. I CONFESS, I AM SMART, I AM NOT INTELLECTUALLY CHALLENGED AND I KNOW WHAT YAOI IS. IT IS A HOMOSEXUAL- IT IS A POPULAR TERM FOR FEMALE- Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh GAY PEOPLE!!! ...... I hate you.

Jade: Well at least you've come out of your shell.

Luke: You know... actually, someone having knowledge about my educational standing. This is such a relief! I... I feel liberated! Why would could have an educational conversation right now, we should talk of our philosophies this very moment!

Jade: Ah, ah, ah! Not so fast my young genius friend. I imagine there must have been some sort of reason for hiding your intelligence for so long. We must take this to a private location.
Luke: Of course! It's the bloody fandom!
Jade: ... no staring at the forth wall Luke.
Luke: SHH. It's a lie!

Jade: Very well, shall we retire for our conversation?
Luke: Uh, okay. Sure thing, where's this private location of yours?
Jade: My room of course.


Jade: Ah so brilliant yet so naive.
Luke: Jade, c'mon- Tear-!!
Jade: I'll be sure to fix that as well.

Category:

Comedy

Tags:

• Tales
• of
• the
• Abyss
• Animethon
• 15
• Skit
• Cosplay
• Luke
• Jade
• Asch
• Senior
• Runner
• Up

[ladylukefonfabre]

Lol! You guys are awesome. XD

But Luke is totally gay for Guy. ^.~

[Akkiko]

Wa hahaha. XD  Who knows~

[WhySoRandom94]

So brilliant yet so naive, yea that's right Jade fix the Replica that we all love.

[windknight830]

This was one of the best skits there! Loved it!

[vegeta2998]

I could see Jade doing that 100% xD

[HaruhiNekoKun]

That was an AMAZING skit!! I love you guys Xp

[FantasyFanatic911]

Oh my gosh, the ending was perfect. The person who cosplayed Jade was so in character! He even had the voice. Epic. :-)

[LeanceHP]

@InkScratches

I know right! I was about to comment the same XD

[InkScratches]

Oh my god, best Jade cosplayer EVER. That man IS Jade! ^0^

[Howlingwind1217]

Oh this is too funny. XD I want to go to one of these anime expo things now. XD

[ANIMATED15]

"My room of course"

lmao XD

[motokoli]

what a perverted jade xDDDDDDDD

[kagekura199]

"I hate you!" Luke said... Get ready to run!

[kagekura199]

Jade's microphone is broken~~~~!!! LOl so brilliant yet co naive......Run for it luke!