A Look At My Bipolar Face

Reaching out, breaking stigmas, letting light in a dark place. This is MY journey and thoughts after being diagnosed with Bipolar 1 ultra-rapid cycling.

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Category:

Education

Tags:

• manic
• depression
• bipolar
• disorder
• mental
• illness
• stigma
• light
• treatment
• self
• awareness
• care

[MrCartoonguy]

Hi, Aint it a stinker? We have the same diagnosis but....doctors always disagree...some say cyclothymia and some say BP1 or 2 some say ultradian or rapid cycling......They are not perfect but nevertheless it is a bipolar thing.......I do not know if I was manic or hypomanic when I was recently ill...at one point my head was gonna explode and all was too much....other times I was euphoric sometimes anxious sometimes powerful and grandious or energised. What is mania live for you?

[hartpoet]

Sorry for my delay I am so busy at times. Ummm... Mania for me is about having a super brain that blows a gasket. Dangerously genius. In mania I learn quickly. I should have known about the mania when the deaf were shocked that I learned to sign fluently in three months. I learned French in four. My mind doesn't slow down in mania. I could never speak fast enough. I had to sign to occupy my brain to be verbal at an understandable rate. Uncontrollable laughter. (Continued...)

[hartpoet]

A complete change in my personality from being reclusive and meditative to extroverted and impulsive. Hyper-sexuality was painful! It's like lightning through your whole body your urges are so strong you feel you could vomit and the need is so desperate anyone becomes acceptable. This was tough because I am so happily a Jehovah's Witness and a virgin (that includes no masturbation) it took determination to resist. I'm grateful I did. Honestly, memories of mania keep me on my meds! Hahaha!

[hartpoet]

I also agree that being bipolar is not a "one size fits all" mood disorder. That was really the reason for the title of my video a look at "my" bipolar face. It's just a title in the DSM 4 for medication. I go to a bipolar group every week and I have yet to find anyone who cycles as fast as I do though there are other "rapid cyclers." I also have a dual diagnosis of bipolar disorder and PTSD so each person's cycle is individual and has many factors.

[citcat299]

@hartpoet I'm an ultradian (ultra ultra rapid) cycler. This year I've been cycling hourly mostly - although it's not as exact as yours - can be anything from 30minutes to several hours. I'm a type 2 though, so only reach the hypomanic point, although I was brought to mania on several occasions after I was mistakenly prescribed an SSRI by one psyc for "very severe depression" and stimulants by another for "untreated ADHD and Anxiety".

[shincuppy]

Princess, I thank you for sharing your powerful testament with us.



[robbabub]

I had to chuckle when you said "ENFP". People think that I am nutty when I try to explain it to them. I am "INFP". Knowing that has really helped me understand myself. It helps me understand why other people act the way they do. I have never found personality theory to fail me. When I found out that I was bipolar, it filled in everything else that I didn't know about myself. Just knowing that I am bipolar and INFP have done more to help me with my bipolar than all the meds I ever took.

[hartpoet]

Sorry for the delay... I am forbidden to drink caffeine and alcohol! Caffeine laid me out for two days. It is toxic. Growing up with ADD mom gave it to me by the gulp and it calmed me to a point of retardation so I hate the stuff by all accounts. And I'm a hippie naturalist so I am not one for soda and artificially flavored beverages. And even with treatment I can't go to sleep before one. I just deal with it. I've been that way my whole life so I don't think it's bipolar related. Who knows? :)

[foxleyleon]

oh ok. me too. does drinking coffee make u greatly irritable. or waking up too late or too early. i am usually irritable in the day and manic at night . and than it starts all over again the next day. without meds.

[hartpoet]

No, to the contrary I was saying losing my creativity was an illegitimate fear, that bipolar or not I am who I am and I will create what I will. Typically, to be encouraging people say lots of creative people are bipolar and that's true but that does not mean being bipolar makes one creative. I was warning against the fallacy of refusing treatment for the sake of one's art. I'm an ultra rapid cycler rapid cyclers cycle weekly/daily. I cycle hourly aprox. every 2 hours 45 minutes. w/o treatment.