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Uploaded by on Nov 13, 2009

OMG!
Ok folks...So I just made 2, 10min videos and then I some how deleted them! So...I just made another one and I some how shortened it beyond short! It probably doesn't even make sense....

Thoughts and memories around past trauma (sexual abuse) is coming up more and more. My DH is getting pissed off with me because for obvious reasons I am not interested in "sexual contact" at the moment and he is blaming me for not telling anyone back when it first happened YEARS ago. Nice!

I REALLY am motivated to go to treatment. I really am! Problem... $$$. F*CK!!! I just wish that by some miracle I would win the lottery...JUST enough money to pay off my bills and pay for me to go to a good treatment centre and heal this once and for all! ***I can dream can't I???***

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Uploader Comments (weaveamyweave08)

  • You should try emailing/calling the programs that you are interested in. Some offer scholarships. I don't know the qualifications to get one but its worth a shot. Best of luck to you. <3

  • Thanks for the advice. I will inquire about scholarships! xo~a

  • Hi Amy. Your puppy is so adorable. Love this member of your family.

    When you were extending your heart and hopes about your relapsing friend, I was impressed with how sincere and concerned you are for her. I see this as a positive sign and virtuous aspect of who you are. Love it.

    Never give up, dear one.

    Tom

  • {{{Hugz to you Tom}}} You always see the good. Thank you. xo~a

  • Move to Australia! they have a good inpatient program in Melbourne and its totally covered by your health fund.......depending on which one you have.

    Im sorry its so hard for you right now, it sounds though that you are really motivated to get better, its so great to hear that you actually want treatment, it inspires me to hear that. Good luck with finding treatment, i wish you the best of luck. keep fighting you ED, you are stronger than you realise

  • Thanks. 8-) I only WISH that moving Downunder was possible! LOL Unfortunately, it's not...Plus...I'd have to leave all of my "Furr-Kids" here as I refuse to force them into Quaranteen for 6 months. (Isn't Australia like the UK when it comes to Dogs and Cats coming to the country? I can't remember now!!!)

    I think that the Programme that I was in would be a really decent one IF the Head Doc would ACTUALLY LISTEN! He's got too much ego though.....

  • ....and the staff (ie: the "Nurses", etc) all seem to be burnt out).

    One thing that I really HATED when I was there on '05, '06 and again a couple of weeks ago...they really TOO heavily on Meds! Heaven forbid you actually CRY (aka FEEL)! My word! It's like the world comes to an end! They can't have that so they pop a Seroquel into you! Instead of learning to FEEL they NUMB YOU OUT! It's so F*CKED up!

    Sorry for that little rant!

    xo~a

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All Comments (8)

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  • OMG, what a scary situation. Poor girl...

    Amy, you really need some help. I wish I could do something...

    What a cute puppy!!! I miss having Gizmo around...

    Please don't lose your hope. Love you!!

    xoxo

    Fran

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