Shareef Ali: Best Friends With Benefits

Shareef Ali playing "Best Friends With Benefits", his crush song for Bri of Best Friends Forever.

Lyrics:

Briana,
there's something that I must confess to you.
I wanna get next to you.
But it wouldn't be my first time crushing on a celebrity.
See, I've had this thing for Jewel since I was thirteen.

But Briana,
that whole thing was different entirely.
There's this fire in me
that no other famous face can quench quite like yours does.
Not even Scarlett Johotsson; I don't know why, just because.

So I confess, you're not my first high-profile love interest.
You're just the drop-dead cutest, and the hottest, and the best.
I know I'm not yours either, so I'm sure you're well aware
that type of overt flattery won't get you anywhere.

Briana,
I know it's been years since that fateful show.
I'm still grateful though.
We came to see the other band, but you became the star.
Like I told you afterward, you played the shit out of that guitar.

But Briana,
don't think I'm just hot for your onstage charm,
the glove on your arm.
This wouldn't be the first time a rocker was my lover's hand.
I used to go with 'Debbie Harry' from the Blondie cover band.

It's not that I don't fantasize about our side project,
where we'd co-write the lyrics and then scream off-key as heck.
Then donning matching arm-guards for abusing our guitars,
we'd rock out like the rocking bitch and son-of-bitch we are.

But at the end of the day, I can't really say
why I think we're made of the same stuff.
At the end of my dream, the fragments I've gleaned
don't mean that that' what you're made of.
I can't promise fireworks, or lifetimes of longing;
I think that would all miss the point.
I crush you, Briana. If ever we touched,
I swear I would not disappoint.

Briana,
there's just one more thing I think you should know.
It was so long ago,
but in college I had this roommate named Brandon Wallace Smith.
So you wouldn't be the first 'B. Smith' I'd made out with.

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• Shareef Ali