Self hate to self injury - Poem

Reading an older poem about self injury

This no longer reflects how I feel, but it once did


Self hate

I didn't know you, and I didn't care
You just existed when life was fair
Life was simple, but you didn't know
You were beauty in the way you would grow
Ready for love in the way you were raised
Smiles for the small ways that you were praised
I nearly missed the day when you had changed
You learned the ways of happiness feigned
You were part of things that were wrong
You failed yourself, but should have stayed strong
So I looked at you with the deepest of hate
You returned the looks of disgust I would make
I whispered that I should tare you apart
You wondered if I even had the heart
I chose the places to draw your blood
I drew a river, but wanted a flood
I called you names each passing day
Caught glimpses of you and turned away
I blamed and cursed you for your past
I threw at you any stone I could cast
You were torn by all that was done
Then I tore you more but nobody won
Parts of you were left wounded and open
Nothing was gained and time was stolen
I stuck out and spent all the loathing I could
Then left you to heal the way that I should
I made silent wishes on an evening star
That I could meet who you really are
You are scarred and broken, but I see you much clearer
The girl that looks back when I look in the mirror

Category:

People & Blogs

Tags:

• Self
• hate
• to
• self
• injury
• harm
• mutilation
• Idranktheseawater
• Poem
• poetry

[ChannelingusIV]

What did you originally name it? I think we all want to know

[idranktheseawater]

@ChannelingusIV

I named the poem "Stupid Bitch"

That was the name of the girl in the mirror. I made her identity separate from mine. I usually referred to her as SB.

[SerenityMellissa]

i have a question do you say you in reference to yourself or a part of yourself in a bunch of your poems because i do that and i was just wondering if there was a correlation

[idranktheseawater]

@SerenityMellissa

I guess, both?

I would look in the mirror and see this person that I named "Stupid B*tch"

She was every part of me that I hated.

I would differentiate myself from her, like we were 2 people.

[leahcharlottte]

amazing poem :) what is your accent? (sorry if you get asked that a lot or anything)

[idranktheseawater]

@leahcharlottte

French Canadian

[TheGoldenLoser]

this is incredible, explains everything perfectly, you are very talented, keep fighting and stay strong :)

[XxXBVBArmyForeverXxX]

I LOVE IT!!!

[deadbabyfromspace]

awesome poetry!

[peacewolf99]

wow that was really good !!!

[xmoroseguyx]

I really took notice of your poem, But I found it hard to enjoy, I felt you were talking about real events and real feelings, That happened in your childhood, That really had a negative impact on you, Im guessing the theme of your poem is the loss of your youthful innocence, When things went down hill at your family home growing up, And that`s mostly what`s to blame for your disorders?

[bighairemo]

This is really amazing... This poem reflects on my life so well that it is scary. I write poetry but I would never share it so you must be very brave because I get scared of my feeling.

[ILovesMcr]

Amazing...I've always tried to find poetry like this, it's so understandable x Well done :) xoxo

[jamiemeyerfulify]

This is so amazing!!!! Ur so insperTional!!! I love watching it videos they are helping me out of a dark time in my life