http://www.disciplineyespunishno.com Why does your child misbehave? What is the difference between discipline and punishment? What is the missing part of getting them to do what you tell them to do? Here is an answer from Ask Auntie Artichoke, family relationship coach and author of over 20 books. There are three levels of intervention that can help any family; 1. Articles, classes and books 2. a Transforming program used with the family in weekly meetings 3. Therapy for situations where personal safety or an outside authority is called for.
The worst thing you can do is nothing. Problems do not go away by themselves. Action is called for. Please try level one and level two. You may find the answer you are searching for.
Many parents and teachers think that discipline and punish are one and the same. They feel that as the "Big Guys" with the power, they can force acceptable behavior with children.
The word discipline comes from the word disciple; a leader, teacher or guide. It means modeling and guiding behavior and attitude with respect and kindness rather than using force. Punish has a much harsher meaning and is usually associated with domination or breaking the spirit of a child.
Discipline vs Punish
Parents who use punishment as a means of control usually have very high standardss and expectations. They seldom offer warm, caring support and few explanations of their rules and are pretty unbending in their rigid standards. Their children often learn that violence, both verbal and physical, is an acceptable way to control others, even if it is short term. They grow up to be bullies and demanding adults who have never gathered interpersonal skills for relationships, both personal and professional.
Loving, Kind and Firm Discipline Teaches Life Skills
Loving and kind parents who discipline and teach with clearly defined rules, limits and boundaries raise caring and cooperative children. They take the time to train and guide the family to understand the limits of society. They also make an effort to consistently spend time and energy in fostering confidence and self esteem in all members of the family.
Loving parents are flexible enough to listen if a rule or boundary has been violated, but are sure enough of their own inner strength to teach the life lesson. Their love and guidance is not tied to accomplishments, behavior or tasks. It is an unconditional commitment to discipline vs punish and to guide rather than force acceptable behavior.
Respect is a two way street and parents who want children to respect them, will model respectful behavior.
Artichoke Press is the home site of Judy H. Wright, family relationship coach and author of over 20 books and many articles on family relationships. Claim your free ebook by clicking on the web link below. You will be glad you did. If your organization would like to schedule Auntie Artichoke, the storytelling trainer, for a workshop please call 406.549.9813. Thanks for joining our community of caring parents, family members,coaches, teachers and mentors who want to help raise a generation of responsible adults who respect others.
(c) Judy H. Wright http://www.ArtichokePress.com You have permission to reprint this article in your blog, ezine or offline magazine as long as you keep the content and contact information intact
You do an important work. For more information please go to http://www.DisciplineYesPunishNo.com
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Teaching Children Respect, Responsibility and Cooperationby Lifeisgreat2242,780 views
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