♫ bOYS dON'T cRY ♫

(VIDEO STILL AVAILABLE WORLDWIDE)
---BEING A KID WHO DIDN'T CRY FROM THE AGE OF ABOUT 5 YEARS OLD UNTIL MY SATURN RETURN AT 27 YEARS OLD, LET ME TELL U....IT TAKES FAR, FAR, MORE COURAGE TO BE VULNERABLE AND HONEST WITH URSELF THAN IT DOES TO PUSH UNCOMFORTABLE FEELINGS DOWN! That's why I've put this vid in blue and with an old film effect....it's time ALL men grew out of this particular bullshit, there would be a lot less anger AND ABUSE of ALL kinds, in the world, if they and society would allow them to cry when necessary.
Unfortunately....or not...(I wouldn't be myself now, if I changed a single thing)....but at 5 years old onwards the ONLY power I had over my physical abuse was whether I cried or not, so even tho I knew it would stop if I did....no way in hell I was going to! My Dad's an anesthetist/ anesthesiologist, and as an adult I found out that he was actually in charge of the ICU, or Critical Care Unit....also anesthetists ran the casualties during the 60s and 70s! A friend of mine lost her husband after a motorcycle accident and she said if it hadn't been for the "kindness and caring" of my father she wasn't sure if she would have made it thru...her husband got 3rd degree burns on 85% of his body. I REFUSED to believe she could be talking about MY father....but she was! It was only then that I consciously realized what I had always known on a spiritual level....my Dad wasn't reacting to MY bad behavior or even MY character, but to the stress of his work. Out of four kids I was BY FAR the toughest and so I protected the others....my youngest sister got hit ONCE and her collar bone broke....so never again! Trouble is abuse runs VERY deep and u throw some sexual in from a neighbour...ongoing for 8 yrs...again to protect my sisters....and I naturally took over the role of abuser of myself when I left home...hence my 25+ years in active addiction.
If it hadn't been for my father....then and NOW...he has come so far, we BOTH have.....I doubt I would have survived transition, nevermind addiction to heroin! Thanks Dad....and Mom (had a LOT of anger towards my Mom for many years, but that's another story...same reason, different process).....I love u both...u are truly amazing ppl and have stood by me when many wouldn't have and indeed don't...just because of the drugs! Throw in transition, and well, lets be honest...I'm just not normal. Thank God, and thank-u both for some of that??!!
Audio owned by WEA. No copyright infringement intended! Solely artist appreciation and promotion. Buy the whole album...really IS worth it!

Band is 'The Cure' with their debut single 'Boys Don't Cry', from the album of the same name, released in 1980..., I was still in high school, yr 12, and it was the LAST year my father ever hit me! I moved out literally 5 minutes after the last time. Then I had a 5 year go at being a straight woman. (Mental picture...me in high heels, dress and FULL make-up for work!...ok, sorry about that...ha ha ...omg, so many stories! Think I've been every possibility now, straight woman, straight man, dyke, gay man, bisexual woman, bisexual man, trans straight/gay/bi/lesbian. Now as 'gender queer'...will fuck anyone, as long as I LOVE them! Due to spiritual energy awareness, I love ppl I haven't yet met in this life...lucky hey?

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[simbies]

gawd i had to put my glasses on to read all that LoL,,, i hope you are good now,, i thought you were in Au ,but you write MOM instead of MUM..?

im guessing your straight days would have been hard, ..

have a great weekend, where ever you are,,

Ciao

[xenokyle]

Am in Australia...it's just that I have a VERY confused language base due to attending 15 schools in 12 years on 3 continents, and that's only to end of high school!

Straight days were kinda fun...didn't mind sex with guys and loved competing with them...always won on pool table, motorbike AND of course, could drink them under the table! I nearly got married as spent 5yrs with one guy....officially anyway. 'Played the field', have to admit.

[SamC74]

I love it, Kyle. Great message.

[xenokyle]

Thanks Sam...long time, how are u doing?

I'm doing my usual lurking vicariously in the background...will start leaving comments again...have to stop writing SO much on my own damn vids and page!

[ghauff]

Earth should be a place of spiritual reflection not a war zone!

[xenokyle]

God! Sorry about that...I sound so arrogant. That is MY belief anyway....mind u, urs sounds like a hell of a lot happier way to live?@ghauff

[ghauff]

@xenokyle we are all visitors to consciousness so ill treated when we arrive here. Every person, consciousness needs to be respected..every life treated with dignity.

[xenokyle]

why? I always thought Earth was like kindergarten for the soul....certainly NOT a place for spiritual 'reflection'! Surely we do that AFTER a physical life? Unless uv reached enlightenment and have returned to help others only? That is VERY rare, lets be honest. When was the last time u met a spiritually enlightened being?