ED Update...Got the call and going to treatment

***ARG! Why does this thing ALWAYS cut off the last 50 seconds!?! This is NOT helping the whole "anger" issue***

!Yup. I'm going to treatment next Wednesday. I have A LOT of mixed feelings and unfortunately, the ED side of me is a hell of a lot louder and more stubborn then I am at the moment. I am holding A LOT of anger within myself as well which is only coming out in purging, cutting and being an out-right bitch to the one I should be the nicest to...the DH.

Anyway, I'm on a time limit/constraint here, so I will do another video tomorrow...hopefully. Hope everyone is well.

Love you all!

Category:

People & Blogs

Tags:

• ed
• eating_disorder
• anorexia
• bulimia
• ana
• mia
• relapse
• recovery
• ed_treatment
• treatment_anger

[sugarfreejello]

I wish you well in treatment. I hope you are able to do some healing. *hugs*

[weaveamyweave08]

Thanks. I am praying also....

[anawings]

Best of luck Amy. I will be thinking of you:)

I know you are scared but I really hope that it will be beneficial to you and that you can try to embrace the supportive environment. Stay strong and focus on how you would like your life to be. Take baby steps toward that life. If freedom from this ED is what we truly desire and hope for one day we must do the hard yards to get to that place of freedom and peace. I know it souns pretty idealistic but we must keep the hope:)

Luv Chelsea x

[weaveamyweave08]

Luv u too and hope that you are doing ok.

[anawings]

Thats ok my dear, well received:)

All good:) take care ok xxx

[weaveamyweave08]

I'm so sorry for those angry words above...I sent you a pm trying to explain a few things. {{{hugs}}}

[weaveamyweave08]

Thanks...I appreciate it.

[weaveamyweave08]

THIS I ALREADY KNOW! I am WELL aware that it ISN'T ALL ABOUT THE WEIGHT!!! THAT is why I have been working MY F*CKING ASS OFF in THERAPY for the past YEAR! Remembering SHIT that I did NOT even KNOW OCCURED TO ME! (Multiplied by 2 seperate people!!!) To say that it's NOT all about the weight, is telling me nothing, supporting nothing. I apologise for my ANGRY words and I am so SICK AND F*CKING TIRED OF NOT BEING HEARD!

[anawings]

So true...the weight is not important unless of course you are on your deathbed. Weight is merely a symptom of the deep seated issues that make up an ED. In order to move through the pychological stuff treatment is very important.

[chihiro0]

test the waters. It's true that only you can make you better. ultimately its your power of choice. No one can force you. even in treatment, even if someone makes you gain weight, no one can force you to give up the mindset. Not possible for them. POSSIBLE for only YOU. when YOU are ready. don't panic. you know you can always cling to the disorder if you feel overwhelmed. but try to take things really slowly. think: what if I allow myself this feeling of Okay for 5 minutes..yknow?