The Curbstomp Song

For those of you dropping in from TVtropes, allow me to be the first to apologize for my less than spectacular singing skills. However, if you wish to check out some other tracks that don't involve as much of my annoying voice, be sure to skim through my channel a bit. If you look, you'll also find 'The Curb Stomp Song: Kareoke Edition' available at no extra charge.

Now back to your regularly schedules program:

Back by Popular Demand... (Er... right.) It's: The Curbstomp Song.

While I am not the best of singers, I promise at least a mind numbingly silly performance.

Lyrics:

Up in space, their ships go BOOM!
In a pyrotechnic doom.

On the ground, no hope is found
As they die in burning mounds.

Lacking tech, like fire and wheel.
Going up against cold steel.

Strategy?! Well they just rush.
THERE'S NO FOOLS THAT THEY CAN CRUSH!

Their invasion's meltdown!
Ground to dust by unarmed clowns!
All that's left: To wait and see.
Whether they will fight or flee!

There's no need for kryptonite.
Silver cross.
Or stake, or LIGHT!

There's some fights that just ain't fair.
But it's FUN to gawk and stare.

*Chorus* (X2)
"When a fight is just plain wrong!
We all sing the curbstomp song!
People dying left and right...
It's a SLAUGHTER not a fight.

Start a brawl that can't be won.
See the boots eclipse the sun.
Either swallow bitter truth.
Or eat CURB and lose a tooth.

Ill equipped with laser guns.
That explode when set to stun.
Using armor made of rags.
Nothing's left for body bags!

With a weakness SO painful.
Quite annoying, and shameful.
Kids with H.2.O. Ballons.
Oh so gaily MELT THESE GOONS!

Their assault's a FAILURE!
Putting guns on Super Tankers.
Now just watch...
And you will see...
Battles, that should NEVER BE!

Here they come, they're charging us!
Why should we put up a fuss?
It's a war that won't last long.
And why I sing: THE CURBSTOMP SONG!

*Chorus*

"Oh! Oh! I know! A hundred berserkers in full plate mail against a Roman Phalanx!"
"No man, that's not a curbstomp."

"What about the russian army armed with pistols against guys with sub-machine guns?"
"You're not thinking big enough man. Try more extreme."

"Uh... A team of ninja vs a tentacle monster with a rocket launcher?"
"What the hell?! Go sit down before you hurt yourself."

"What about sending special forces in to take out an orc camp?"
"You're getting it now. Keep it up."

"A vampire with a bad attitude wi-and a particle cannon against Red Coats."
"That's a stomp if I ever heard it."

"Oh! I know! A fleet of star cruisers with giant energy cannons taking on an infestation of zombies in a city!"
"Ground zero man. I can taste the concrete!"

"A vampire, a wizzard, a battleship, a dragon-"
"Against a monk, a settler, and a coal miner in a cattle wagon."
"OUCH..."
"Stompingly good."

"HIT IT!"

*Chorus*

So when a fight's a slaughter.
Not any quarter given.
Just sing along to the Curbstomp Song
And ask yourself:

"Why can't we just get along?"

*Chorus*

Category:

Music

Tags:

• curbstomp
• song

[sigmaK9]

Cool song, but I don't understand the first verse.

Maybe I'm just missing something, but how did the "unarmed clowns", as you put them, manage to curb-stomp the invading army with no weapons or even technology? Were they powerful mystical beings or wizards or something?

Or was the curb-stomp was supposed to be the result of some kind of a military miracle?

[SamuraiPenguinStudio]

@sigmaK9

It means the army was so incompetent that they were beaten by otherwise non-combat capable individuals.

After all: When a fight is just plain WRONG.

[Shadowfang3000]

TV Tropes sent me :P

[CncWWII]

Sent here by tvtropes!

[paulmitchell2018]

plz put a down load link so awsoe song a need on ipod

[MicahTheZombie]

Sent here from the Dungeon Crawl forum.

[ZorotheGallade]

@sigmaK9 Stormtrooper.Nuff said.

[HSMiyamoto]

Polish Cavalry against a wing of German Stuka dive-bombers!

[DEFR0B0T]

Cock on her shoulder pee in her bum.

[blaze1372003]

@coredumperror I figured as much.

[coredumperror]

@blaze1372003 Did you know that the writer of SWTG is the guy singing this song? :)

[blaze1372003]

No tvtropes for me. Saw it mentioned in Sleeping with the Girls Vol. II and just had to see if it really existed.

[vaiyt]

@sigmaK9 I thought it was a reference to Star Wars Stormtroopers...

[unfit242]

Still from TV Tropes dude.