Self-Defense Tips From a Carnie

Patrick Swayze will live on in the hearts of millions of moviegoers as ghastly New York City night demon, Sam Wheatand, of course, no one is likely to forget John fidgety hips Castle any time soon. However, with Swayzes recent passing comes the inevitability of his secondary roles fading slowly into obscurityand with this, were faced with the very real possibility of future generations growing up without the guidance of his most important film credit, James Dalton.

Dalton deficiency in a boys development will spark the devolution of man.

Without Road House, you lose the immortal words pain dont hurtand without this declaration, humanity loses its strength. Our species will become frail and weak. We will eventually be conquered by creatures inferior by todays standards. A century from now its a distinct possibility our surviving civilization will succumb to a herd of guinea pigs.

The question begging to be answered is: Whos going to put the MAN back in the future of mankind?

Along comes Scotty. Hes coolheaded and evenhanded, but he means business. His experience transcends taking out the trash at a seedy roadside barhe does his dirty work on the savage fairgrounds. No mans land. On top of that, he too has a degree in philosophy, only his was printed out on carnival tickets and inked with the blood of all those whove dared cut in line at the merry-go-round.

In Scotty, we have not only the successor to James Dalton, but perhaps...

...the savior of the human race.

http://www.anewlow.net

Category:

Comedy

Tags:

• howto
• best
• tips
• self
• defense
• defend
• yourself
• fight
• carnie
• fair
• carnival
• humor
• funny

[The420Robert]

LMFAO, this guy is my hero

[HiddenAbilities]

The flashlight thing was probably one of the smartest things I ever heard lol (Although they might knock it out of your hands but still its epic lol)

[HiddenAbilities]

This was entertaining :D