Microsoft Sam answers That Guy with the Glasses

In episode 30 of Ask That Guy with the Glasses (http://thatguywiththeglasses.com/videolinks/thatguywiththeglasses/ask-thatguy/1­995-ask-thatguy-episode-30) That Guy requests the viewers to answer his questions for a change. Due to the lack of a microphone I was unable to do it so I asked Microsoft Sam, and it turns out he is actually pretty smart for a robot with a voice. If you can't understand some parts of he says, here's a transcript:


Hello, I am Microsoft Sam. Most people know me as a very great text-to-speech program that comes installed with Windows. But what most people don't know is that I happen to be very good at answering question. Almost just as good as I am as speaking with a natural human voice. That's why I have decided to answer the five questions even ThatGuyWiththeGlasses himself apperantely did not know the answer to.

First question: what killed the dinosaurs?

Hmm, that is a very good question. Well, after Albert Einstein succesfully built a time machine the first thing he did, well... actually the second thing, since the first thing he did with it was go forward in time to the opening of the first Kentucky Fried Chicken. But after that he went back 65 million years and the first thing he did there was being eaten by a T-Rex, called Bob. Unfortunately Einsteins hair was filled with all kinds of bacteria and gems, some of them proved to be lethal to dinosaurs. This made Bob a terminal patient who only had two more months to live. The Make a Wish Foundation heard of this and decided to fulfill Bob's greatest wish: to go to space. Back then, space travel was much cheaper than it is today and that delivered no problems, except for the fact that the austronaut piloting the rocket was drunk. This resulted in him going east after passing Alpha Centauri while he should've gone to the west. Yes, I know you don't have got the compass directions in space because there are no north- and south poles there but they didn't know. Anyway, so the rocket collided with a meteorite and changed its trajectory to earth. You know the rest.
So the answer to the question "What killed the dinosaurs?" is... Albert Einstein did.


Question number two: how much wood could a Woodchuck chuch if a Woodchuck could chuck wood.

That is a pretty difficult question. Everyone knows that if there is one thing that woodchucks can't do it is chucking wood. So what would happen if they actually could do that? Hmmm, this probably would result in a gigantic disturbance in the fabric of time and space. This disturbance would stop Einstein from going back in time and thus the dinosaurs would have never gone extinct. And if the dinosaurs would still be alive today they would probably eat all the woodchucks and since there is no wood in dinosaur stomaches the answer to the question "how much wood could a Woodchuck chuch if a Woodchuck could chuck wood" would still be... no wood.


Question number three: if a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?

This question is relatively simple: yes it does. Why? Because if no one was around there would still be hidden microphones placed by Santa Claus. Yes, children and ThatGuyWiththeGlasses, Santa Claus places hidden microphones all over the world. That's why he always knows if you had been naughty and why he blackmails your parents. Anyway, because the trees in the woods don't want Santa Claus to know about their ancient conspiracy, they still make sound when they fall.


Okay, on to the fourth question: can you tell me how to get back on the freeway?

Yes, I can. But I won't because that information is confidential.


And the last question: what would you do for a Klondike Bar?

I am a robot. Robots don't eat. So I don't eat. The average human however would probably sacrifice his friends, his family, his dog and some random people to the gods for a Klondike Bar.


I am Microsoft Sam, I answer it so you don't have to... for this single time.

Category:

Comedy

Tags:

• ask
• thatguywiththeglasses
• that
• guy
• glasses
• answer
• answers
• microsoft
• sam
• dinosaurs
• einstein
• woodchucks
• klondike
• bar

[WILIZIN]

not bad. Although it has windows sam and Google image search smeared all over it.

The answers were creative. You get a three from me. Not bad

[KnightRoderick]

That may have something to do with the fact that almost all images have been found using Google image search and, too make things worse: it was made using Windows Movie maker. Also, I have almost no experience with making videos, so yeah...

[masterchiefboy11]

that picture at 2:20. WTF

[Spifftasticdork]

The freeway question's answer made me laugh.

[mambostory]

@MattT1996 photoshop

[MattT1996]

2:20 What... the... how is he doing that?  I wanna know!

[PS3POWERFTW]

lmao