Modern Starfleet Officer

A karaoke filk song that I did one night.

• Category

  Music

[Kevin Van Houten]

Howdy.

Nice to see my lyrics survived. :) I wrote this back somewhere in the late 90's I believe. :) Posted originally to Fidonet echos "Terok Nor" and "Filk". Later I made a "karaoke version" in .kar and another in cdg format. :)

Kevin van Houten

aka

Qe'van, Bard of Nor

[Dallas Vinson]

I did this useing the .kar file.

[arnaldosfjunior2]

hey,post the lyrics please.

[Dallas Vinson]

Wish I could. I've since lost that kar file. It would be just as easy for you to transcribe the lyrics from the song as it would for me to do it. Sorry.

[Zargontheconquerer]

I would love to see the lyrics for this too...did you write them?

[Dallas Vinson]

No, I did not write this, it was a Kar file I got off usenet.

[MacDragard]

Looks like a real life Peter Griffith.

[600bvoss]

Good lord....and I thought I was a trekkie.

[elheadkickio]

Oh dear.

[OukaKisa]

I will help in Engineering and at times I gladly take the helm. I play at doctor when the Holodoc is not so holo-well. I do my best to please my Captain and to show my faith in her: For I'm the very model of the modern Starfleet Officer.

(Just trying to help =3 . I like StarTrek =) )

[OukaKisa]

I find a busty babe on every planet, moon or docking port. Their noses all look funny but the nose ain't what I'm looking for. I make a scan and then tricorders find a quantum flux in space. I have to fix this flux or else it's history for the human race. A particle acclerator's really good at fixing these. But if your particle is rare and not in nature normally: A Holodeck/Transporter fix will always help with these because: The Holo/Porter/Replicators breaks all known existing laws.

[OukaKisa]

With just a glance I guess the dance of green Orion slaver's girls. I know the history and culture of a thousand other worlds: And I can quote the Captains and the Officers and know the size: Of every Starship that has had the mythic name of "Enterprise". I speak in fluent Horta and I know the war-signs of the Gorn. I know how every body looks both in and out of uniform. And in my Captain's ready-room I have a tête-à-tête with her: For I'm the very model of the modern Starfleet Officer.

[OukaKisa]

I never cheat at 3-D Chess or Poker or Parisi Squares: And many times I nix the turbo-lift and use the Jeffreys' stairs. I do my best to please my Captain and to show my faith in her: For I'm the very model of the modern Starfleet Officer.

I study mythic history; The Federation's and Starfleet's. I sing the songs of Kahless and I know of Hercules' feats. I write in Vulcan hieroglyphs philosophies taught by Surak. I know the crimes of Colonel Green, Kahn Noonian Singh and Beeblebrox.

[OukaKisa]

I am the very model of the modern Starfleet Officer; A'warping here, a'warping there, a warrior philosopher. I talk more technobabble than the evil bad guy enemy: And break the laws of nature like Sir Newton's Laws and entropy. I'm very well aquainted too with matters astronomical: And knowing all the races both the war-like and the logical. I comb the interplanetary net for all the latest news: Of Romulans, Cardassians and pirates out by Betelgeuse