The Phlebotomy Rap

hello to all medical vampires past present and future! this rap is all about one of the mainstays of an Medtech/medlabscientist's work, blood collection with evacuated tubes! so listen up and you might learn something!

featuring a great song borrowed from frank klepacki, king of video game soundtrack composers!

if you want to use this for educational/entertainment/commercial purposes please contact me.


LYRICS
Medical vampire, whatever, mosquito
well i be the hero when it comes to needles
won't be injecting, let me explain
i'll take a specimen with minimum pain
today i'll be your phlebotomist
take a blood sample from your elbow or wrist
after i intro and check your name
i'll tie your arm with a tourniquet
not my intent to stop the circulation
but i need a little more vein information
the ideal place for me to stick
would be the medi, basi or cephalic
i wipe the site to make it clean not dirty
stick the needle in between degrees fifteen and thirty
i won't hurt ya so don't ya make trouble
the process in painful but tolerable
have no doubt in my competence
steady hands a sign of my confidence
in my training and skill honed through the years
a whole lot of practice sticking my peers
we're experts because of this
so please kindly sir make a fist

and BLEEEEED for me
i need some of your blood

evacuated tube with no moving parts
don't say vacutainer, that's a trademark
once the needle is under your skin
blood comes out when the tube goes in
remove the tube or it'll hemolyze
if i removed it all it'd make you cry
take out the needle and it's almost over
apply pressure to prevent hematoma
ditch the needle in a puncture-proof case
universal precautions keep us safe
label tube name number age and sex
it's already over time for the tests

intro, id, nice and tidy
explain, find vein and decidey
anchor, insert, don't make it hurt
change tube, remove, label good work

and BLEEEED for me

Category:

Music

Tags:

• mt
• mls
• blood
• phlebotomy
• rap
• klepacki
• venipuncture
• evacuated
• tube
• vacutainer

[mich666ification]

bleeeed for me, hhah gonna sing this to my patient's today

[Lynx1424]

This too fun! I'm studying for my final right now!

Thanks.

[goldengodess2249]

i love this song. thank you so much for creating it...im a certified phlebotomist, it really speaks to me.

[ivonneak]

Lol thanks

[JayeTheGirl]

Thank uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu! I'm doing my clincals and i need this lol..

[cassieelouu]

OMG LMAO I LOVE THIS



[alreadyhidden]

wow I can't believe it this is so funny! I am finished with my class but an interning at the ER... this song is going to pop into my head during a draw and make me laugh I just know it LOL awesome

[shortyme06]

I'm a phlebotomist and I think this is hilarious lol we're nerds....

[SSJDavidasX]

I'm in my 5th week of phlebotomy now, and this is just hilarious!

[shittybangbang321]

This is rather gay.

[miekagrl]

awesome! ha ha ha