"Straight Acting" and Other Labels

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• in the closet
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• coming out of the closet gay
• straight acting
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[rabbitfish63]

I'm going to make two separate comments: First, It's really scary when you're first coming out and you see anyone who is "effeminate," because you're worry you will somehow become that, or that others will assume you are that scary, gender-challenging thing. I was working on a play around when I was coming out, and I was terrified of one of the actors who is a charmingly campy, talented actor. I actually recoiled when he tried to touch my arm once. I wish I could go back and apologize for that.

[DoctorSpaceman89]

@rabbitfish63 I agree with the first comment, I was definitely afraid of acknowledging my own feminine side. There's an old saying, "you dislike in others what you fear in yourself"...or something like that. Definitely true.

On the second comment, my point is that this said "bear" shouldn't feel like there's a said "twink community" to fit into. I don't see why we have to break down into "communities" or "social circles" based on physical characteristics or personality traits. We're all gay.

[global001]

BTW its hard to hear as your voice is lower than the music.

Great that you've finally evolved because it really annoys me when guys say they're 'straight acting' as that would mean you're licking pussy which you're not. Hopefully now you can own your masculinity as a gay man & not feed the fallacy that masculinity is the sole preserve of straight guys.

[DoctorSpaceman89]

@global001 Well said. And yeah, the music is somehow much louder in the uploaded version than my version in iMovie. Sorry.

[StraightActingGayGuy]

You did a really nice job with this video. You are a good speaker!

[DoctorSpaceman89]

@StraightActingGayGuy Oh the irony :-). Haha, thanks man I appreciate it.

[lerizzle76]

Good on you. Because of all the stereotypes it does get difficult for some to understand that the ONLY thing that makes one gay is the fact that you like the same sex. That's it.

[FilledHunchbacks]

Hey miss your videos. Hope all is well.

[global001]

@DoctorSpaceman89 lol bloody technology. only small issue towards the end anyway :) Its really good you've been honest about the journey you've been through & appreciate the variety of gay guys out there. I think we only get annoyed about the divisions because society teaches us that effeminate men are the worst & although we can acknowledge we're gay we don't want to be seen like that. Then we learn hey they're not as bad as we thought. Good on ya mate.

[seblepage]

I couldn't possibly agree with you more on everything that you've said. I really don't like labels either. I am also a more "masculine" gay guy, but it bothers me when people say "You're gay?! I would never have guessed that about you!" I wish there could just be no labels and no stereotypes.

[garyjsimm]

Congrats to you bro. you have come a long way and are bound to have a successful life. Good for you

[rabbitfish63]

I'm also leery about labels, but there is some utility to them, especially when you're looking for someone to partner with. For instance, a guy guy with more hair or a bit of heft who is worried he won't fit into a supposed world of twinks can find some comfort in the Bear community. Now, every community has guys who are DEDICATED to that "lifestyle" and put stickers on everything they own, but to discourage that young hairy guy from going to a Bear events might cut him off from a social circle.