Gay Bacon Strips Unwrapping And Taste Test Review

Gay bacon strips, gay bacon strips, gay bacon strips.
I've said it so many times, the words don't even make sense anymore.

Packaging

I have so much respect for the dudes (and dudettes) over at Epic Meal Time. For one thing, they're literally putting their lives at risk each time they film an episode. All that trans fat, cholesterol, and sugar has to go somewhere. They are vessels for our own deep seated gorging desires that we either cannot or will not indulge. There's a sense of nobility about that. Sweaty and greasy nobility. I'll be honest, I was hoping I could go on their candy episode. I know I'm not anybody in this massive Youtube world, but I had my fingers crossed that I'd get a surprise message from them. In retrospect, it's silly to have such childish dreams. I also have to take into account that we're in totally different genres. I review food while they craft it with their bare hands. Much like how one would craft a sword in Minecraft. We aren't too different though, as we both have food fetishes we flaunt quite blatantly. Mine is for the sweet and sexy Kinder Bueno bar, while their's is for the savory and salty bacon damsel. The things they do to those strips are at times, inhumane. I'm all for trailblazing the path towards new culinary delights, but some of their "creations" give me the heebie jeebies. However, food experiments are something that's always been an interest of mine. The idea of creating a hybrid of deliciousness out of several already scrumptious elements hold infinite possibilities. Just this morning, I was having my breakfast ice cream sandwich (Neapolitan flavored) and decided to infuse it with some chocolate chunks. I was never too fond of the strawberry end of the sandwich, so anything that would delay or diminish it's taste was welcome. The combination wasn't too successful, mostly because it destroyed the outer housing of the sandwich rendering it mushy and torn. In the end, I was left with a mashed up pile of ice cream which resembled a burrito more than the debonair concoction of our beloved Earl Of Sandwich. A real shame too, I thought I was on to something.

Better luck next time I suppose.


Taste, Texture, And Consistency

The universal symbol of happiness has always been the rainbow. It's Mother Nature's way of letting us know that there's always a light at the end of the tunnel. Even when the tunnel is a level 10 hurricane. In that case, Mommy dearest steps it up with a Double Rainbow. That's how you know she's not playing around anymore. Come to think of it, I can't remember the last time I even saw a rainbow. Those little ones you see in sprinkler sprays don't count, I wants me a full size mack daddy! I've also seen them on the ground after a heavy rain storm. It's like they were crossing the street only to be flattened by a reckless driver. I think I saw a mini briefcase next to one of these vertically challenged souls. What is a soul anyway? From a theological standpoint, it's a manifestation of us on a purely metaphysical plane. Does every soul have it's own unique image? I bet mine is blue, that's always been one of my favorite colors. Oh that's right, I said ONE of. I'm not into this whole "Choose an absolute favorite", jive. You know how boring life would be if you just stuck with one thing for the rest of your life? Actually, that's how people go insane. Expecting different results from doing the same things over and over. Please people, mix up your interests.

For your mind.

Overall

What they lack in flavor, they make up for in fun. I'm contemplating using these things as mini whips for when my friends get out of line. One word of sass and BAM! Right between the 3rd and 4th vertebrae.

Category:

Comedy

Tags:

• gay
• bacon
• strips
• rainbow
• road
• mario
• kart
• basically
• anything
• good
• that
• came
• from
• the
• 90's
• isn't
• when
• super
• smash
• bros
• released
• miss
• my
• nintendo
• 64
• so
• much
• hopefully
• don't
• go
• into
• diabetic
• coma
• all
• this
• candy
• epic
• meal
• time
• guys
• will
• probabl
• drop
• before
• me

[marjuddy]

you have a girlfriend ?

[frickfrock999]

@marjuddy

I have a jar of grape jelly which I call my girlfriend.

Why do you ask?

[MineralWellsAirsoft]

i got here from BF3?? O.o

[frickfrock999]

@MineralWellsAirsoft

What's a BF3?

[mattpotocko]

THPS 2 came out in 2000.....Just sayin.

[frickfrock999]

@mattpotocko

This is no place for facts.

[SuperZxz123]

GAY BACON STRIPS!

GAY BACON STRIPS!

GAY BACON STRIPS!

GAY BACON STRIPS!

GAY BACON STRIPS!

[frickfrock999]

@ElectronicsPubVideos

If the Epic Meal Time guys are still standing, I'm pretty confident I'll live on. :p

[TR0LLMASTAH]

@frickfrock999

Battlefield 3 ( PC , PS3 X360 game)

[sunpine100]

obama?

[TheCityHalk]

@frickfrock999 battlefield 3

[chamblizi]

@SuperZxz123 lol i sound like terry crews when i yell this !

[lula1699]

no papyas

[JayMK47]

@frickfrock999 Do you live under a rock?

[MineralWellsAirsoft]

@frickfrock999 Battlefield 3 :P

[cwh617]

holy shit your like a toy reviewer but... with.. candy... AMAZING!