Rigor Tortoise "You're Nothing Like Charlie Sheen"

http://www.RTcomedy.com

A love song with a certain sheen to it.


Words and music by Greg Castle
Directed/Shot/Edited by Behn Fannin

Starring
Greg Castle
Justin Johnson
Adam Karell
Paul Natonek
Dustin Sterling

Assistant Director Josh Blackburn.

Love songs can be hard to write
Everything I say seems trite
and like some high school student cliche
But since I looked into your eyes
Everything about me tries
to find the words to let me convey

You are something special
Something more than just a ordinary love
I wanna' tell you what I mean

You shine like a star, whether or not you're on screen
You're wise and mature, never playing sixteen
When we're on the town, you never make a scene
All I'm really saying is, I'm thankful you're not Charlie Sheen

You never threaten me with knives,
Don't pal around with Heidi Fleiss,
and you never accidentally shoot me in the arm
You have your high school degree,
You aren't holding any PCP,
And you never try to cover guilt with charm

I want you to know how I appreciate the way
you don't come up with different ways to try cocaine

You're under control of your violent tendencies
You don't have some porn stars you want me to meet
You never do blow in the bathroom at KFC
I guess what I'm saying is, I'm thankful you're not Charlie Sheen

And I'm glad I'm not you're not a mess
With a hit on CBS
I wish that everyone could be as blessed as me

You can have a drink without turning on me
You don't need a break at a rehab facility
You don't get naked and angry in a Plaza hotel suite
The thing I love about you most, you're nothing like Charlie

You don't have excuses that make me want to scream
You don't have a fetish for life at dangerous speeds
You don't have a death wish that's about to succeed
I love all the little things that make you less like Charlie Sheen.

• Category

  Comedy