Borderline Personality - Non Borderlines Letting Go

A.J. Mahari, life coach and strategist, a woman who has recovered from Borderline Personality Disorder, in a video recorded in September of 2007, talks to loved ones of those with Borderline Personality Disorder - non borderlines - about the difficult and painful process and challenges associated with having to let someone with BPD go.

Category:

Education

Tags:

• BPD and Love
• BPD and Relationships
• bpd and relationships
• borderline mother
• borderline sibling
• borderline wife
• borderline husband
• aj mahari life coach
• bpd and npd
• abandonment
• facts of bpd

[mikeviehl]

so i must leave then?it will never be better and she will let me go and not care



[ajmahari]

@mikeviehl I cannot tell you what you need to do. You have to decide for yourself if you believe your relationship is working or not. Many people do leave, some people don't. But, unless your partner acknowledges her choices, words, actions and gets effective professional help (not just meds) and really works to change her relational style then you will benefit from asking yourself how you can be happy the way things currently are.

[13abbitt]

A frank video. I, the diagnosed Borderline cannot manage to completely break from a non-Borderline (who is rather Codependent), no matter how elegantly I have tried to end the relationship/friendship. I have been given the impression that my "passionate" Borderline/Bipolar nature makes this non-Borderline desire to rescue me: and I protest. How do I exit from a clinging relationship without fleeing? I remain enmeshed. Unpleasant: messy. ... I liked your video, just the same.

[LlawlietisaPedoFag]

Can you give me an example of your borderline behavior and how it affected people? I'm not looking for symtoms, I'm looking for a specific scenario and how it played out.

[MrSpemat]

I think projection and projective identification plays a part of this...

my mom is borderline and I feel guilty for my shortcomings to this day for not being good enough to not set her off every day... and I think she works it both ways... to make me understand and make me feel bad for her...

my bipolar was always part of the problem and if I hadn't grown up with that, life would be different...

With Borderlines it is hard to tell whether you SHOULD feel bad or not...

[aussiecowboy]

I think about it everyday why he left, can't come up with an answer, it sucks, it truly sucks to be hurt this way, I wish it would go away. did the best I could for them and got the blame for it all and treated like dirt after they walked out, even talked to his friend to see if I could get an answer and then I was painted a monster for doing that, wish it never happened as I can't find closure as well.

[meeg2005]

@majikstranger tell me about it

[PrincessaSophie]

@wushuichiban Um, you know... it isn't your place to diagnose your ex-girlfriend. Sometimes being treated poorly is just that-- being treated poorly.

[majikstranger]

I just find it kind of ironic that BPD people became that way because of abandonment issues either real or imagined so they spend the rest of their lives abandoning others. Seems so selfish to me.

[lpoi7]

HI ajmahari i have been diagnosed with bpd too, i like your videos and your speech too and i woud like to ask you if you would like to have a chat with me on skype or something about very interesting subject like: sociopathy interaction with boderline. It would be very much of help to me if you write me back.Thanks and ceep on. :)