Tim Minchin - The Good Book (Live)

Tim Minchin is as brilliant and hilarious as ever as he satires the bible in "The Good Book." I own nothing, obviously, go buy the DVD as Tim Minchin deserves the moolah.

BTW, there's another version on here too (and he should get credit, as he uploaded the video first). Check it out:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gxXrTR...

Lyrics:

Life is like an ocean voyage and our bodies are the ships
And without a moral compass we would all be cast adrift
So to keep us on our bearings, the Lord gave us a gift
And like most gifts you get, it was a book

I only read one book, but it's a good book, don't you know
I act the way I act because the Good Book tells me so
If I wanna known how to be good, it's to the Good Book that I go
'Cos the Good Book is a book and it is good and it's a book

I know the Good Book's good because the Good Book says it's good
I know the Good Book knows it's good because a really good book would
You wouldn't cook without a cookbook and I think it's understood
You can't be good without a Good Book 'cos it's good and it's a book
And it is good for cookin'

I tried to read some other books, but I soon gave up on that
The paragraphs ain't numbered and they complicate the facts
I can't read Harry Potter 'cos they're worshipping false gods and that
And Dumbledore's a poofter and that's bad, 'cos it's not good

Morality is written there in simple white and black
I feel sorry for you heathens, got to think about all that
Good is good and evil's bad and goats are good and pigs are crap
You'll find which one is which in the Good Book, 'cos it's good
And it's a book, and it's a book

I had a cat, she gave birth to a litter
The kittens were adorable and they made my family laugh
But as they grew they started misbehavin'
So I drowned the little fuckers in the bath
When the creatures in your care start being menaces
The answers can be found right there in Genesis!
Chapter 6, Verse 5-7!

Swing your partner by the hand
Have a baby if you can
But if the voices your head
Say to sacrifice your kid
To satiate your loving God's
Fetish for dead baby blood
It's simple fate, the Book demands
So raise that knife up in your hand!

Before the Good Book made us good, there was no good way to know
If a thing was good or not that good or kind of touch and go
So God decided he'd give writing allegoric prose a go
And so he wrote a book and it was generally well-received

The Telegraph said, "This God is reminiscent of the Norse."
The Times said, "Kind of turgid, but I liked the bit with horses."
The Mail said, "Lots of massacres, a violent tour de force.
If you only read one book this year, then this one is a book
And it is good, and it's a book!"

Swing your daughter by the hand
But if she gets raped by a man
And refuses then to marry him
Stone her to death!

If you just close your eyes and block your ears
To the accumulated knowledge of the last two thousand years
Then morally, guess what? You're off the hook
And thank Christ you only have to read one book

Just because the book's contents
Were written generations hence
By hairy desert-dwelling gents
Squatting in their dusty tents
Just because what Heaven said
Was said before they'd leavened bread
Just 'cos Jesus couldn't read
Doesn't mean that we should need
When manipulating human genes
To alleviate pain and fight disease
When deciding whether it's wrong or right
To help the dyin' let go of life
Or stop a pregnancy when it's
Just a tiny blastocyst
There's no reason why we should take a look
At any other book
But the Good Book
'Cause it's good
And it's a book
And it's a book
And it's quite good!

Good is good and evil's bad
And kids get killed when God gets mad
And you'd better take a good look
At the Good Book

More lyrics: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/t/ti...

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  Entertainment

[Michael A]

There is also no evidence that pink unicorns DON'T exist.

[Finn O'Sullivan]

82 people stoned their daughter to death

[Whalturk]

Think of mythology. People in Greece, Skandinavia, Egypt and so on, came up with godly images to explain thunder, earthquakes, the sun and a lot more. Back then people would also have said, that this couldn't be explained in any other way, but now we have technology that can explain it all. What makes you think that we wont, at some point in the future, be able to explain the creation of the universe?

[elitemem]

Please tell me how that mind of yours work.

So according to your logic. Since there is no evidence to prove that Zues, dragons, unicorns does not exist. Then by default they do exist?

[john21390128412]

There needs not be evidence that god does not exist. Since it is theists that are postulating its existence, the burden of proof falls on the theist. Just cause something exists, doesn't mean it points to a supernatural power. I have no idea how you connected those two things. Finally, just cause there isn't an explanation now for the creation of the universe, doesn't there won't be in the future. God isn't the default.

"Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence."

[Volare Cantare]

Ah, Tim is really entertaining, mind boggling and inspiring at the same time. I don't agree with everything he says, but that's no problem. We need people like him to broaden our horizon regardless whether he is right or wrong.

I'm glad to have seen this side of you, it strengthens my faith in humanity.

[mark rodgers]

I'd be the same myself. We both have our different views but honestly you sound like a nice bloke. Your comments are level headed and a joy compared to some of my comments or replies to them. I like this song. Listen to it on a regular basis. Fires something in my mind.Gives me strength.No god involved.Just me and myself.

[Volare Cantare]

"remain in control", even this remains to be seen, it arguably might be true for some religion but so spot on for most systems based on atheism.

Even so, i can't imagine someone like Buddha or parents to have meant to control people/offspring in the way of a bully.

As a parent i would try to give my offspring the experience and the "wisdom" i gained through the years, to relieve them from the sometimes painful efforts to gain them.

Your last 4 statements i can agree to.

[mark rodgers]

Not 'Lets harm them.' But 'I must remain in control. No matter what the circumstances.' The same way a bully holds sway in a classroom. The same way a government controls its populace. If you didn't fear when you done something you have been told not to then you wouldn't be human. You wouldn't be alive. There would be no evolution or spiritual growth without questions or opposing opinions. Bad examples can be made of athiests and devout alike.l human at the end of the day. All prone to failure

[Volare Cantare]

"Religion is designed to denigrate people":i beg to differ. Religion is the generic term of many belief systems from veneration of the dead to christianity. It is imho impossible that all of the founders of every religion would have thought, when they initiated it: "let's harm them".

But i do know some formentioned who claimed to be atheists but who's initial drive was to harm people for their own sake.

[mark rodgers]

And he should have a go at the 'word of god'. That's what humans are supposed to do.Question. Understand. Resolve. Move on with the knowledge they have gained. As opposed to denying anything other than the book. It perplexes me why you cant see that. Are you 10? Do you believe in fairies at the bottom of the garden. Or santa? Grow up and take on some responsibility. Admit your wrong. Get on with your life and live it anyway you see fit. The Koran is a pile of shit. Deal with it