Lullaby suicide [[Anorexia]] [[bullying]]

**READ DESCRIPTION PLEASE**

I'm sorry if this is confusing it's hard to explain i'll try to get a better desc. up later when I ge my thoughts strait...
Honestly I don't know were to start...
my life pretty much started going down hill when I lost my grandfather
it really effected me..
me and my dad had to moved three times in a year
I don't really make friends well
i'm kinda shy
evryone i thought was my friend turned on me
I don't really trust anyone anymore...
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I have a friend who struggles with being bullied
this video is for her
the feelings described in the video is how she feels somtimes
and it hurts me knowing se has to deal with it...

The feelings and effexts of bullying...
hate myself
I have no self confidence...
and I think I may be suffring from deppression...
I have been hated my whole life by so many people...
I try so hard so hard to fit in and make people happy and try to make friends but I just get put down.

I'm srry i'm not the prettiest
i'm sorry i'm diffrent
i'm sorry i look diffrent
i'm sorry i'm not good enough for you
i'm sorry
Tell me what can I do?
I do so much for others but all i get back is hate...

I hate myself I just want to be good enough
I want to feel pretty
I want to feel confident in myself

I try so hard to gain some control
and thats were my anorexic thought and habbits come in...

I'm not at a harshly low weight for my height and age but I am under weight.
I have been harassed on many occasions about being to skinny...
They say I need to eat that i'm to boney...
But they don't get that makes me feel better it makes me try harder to lose more it feeds my crazy mind...
It makes anas grip on me stronger...
I'm not gonna stop till I feel pretty till i'm beautiful...
It's hard to admit but I have a problem.
all the txt and numbers are from my personal journal so please don't hate on my video cause of the msg. cause it was hard enough to make this video and expose the things I have....

msg. to the one who did this to me:
even though you probably will never see this i'm wrighting it to you anyway,
to whom you may be, look what you have done to me I cry as i wright this to you is this what you wanted you wanted to prove i'm weak look what you have done to me why? why have you done this. I am a mess an emotional wreck I have given up on many things because of you the things you said and did to me why? why did you do them I tried so hard for you I tried to be perfect but i'm still not good enough am I? am I, I was nice I tried to be the best I could but you didn't care you mocked me you teased me you treated me horribly. but this is what you waned for me to fail isn't it?

(copyright: I do not own audio)
song: do your reasearch I did mine
Disclaimer: I do not self harm by cutting.
most of the thoughts and feeling displayed in this video are not my own some are but some were shared with me by another friend. this video goes out to her and anyone else who feels this way.
somany struglle cause of bullying it isn't right everyone deserves to be happy with themselves. they shouldn't have to deal with this.
Please help stop bullying spread the word make a video all little things add up to big things thanks xoxo

Category:

Nonprofits & Activism

Tags:

• foxequestrianlove07 anorexic
• anorexia
• bullied
• bullying
• ED
• ana
• calories

[4TheLoveOfPoniesX]

(c).. education and do something with their life. You dont have to be pretty to be happy. Skinny isn't healthy. My friends friend is so malnourished she isn't strong enough to even hit a volleyball over the net. Why would you give up something you love to look a certain way?

I hope things get better, Id recommend talking it over with a parent or trusting adult. Remember: it can only get better. :D

[FoxeQuEsTrIaNLoVe07]

@4TheLoveOfPoniesX If I tried to explain my thoughts on why, you would think i'm crazy and it wouldn't really make sense it's pretty much a mind game with myself...thats the best way I can put it... and thanks for the tip:)

[4TheLoveOfPoniesX]

Man, being a teen is HARD. Your not alone, many, many girls are going thorough situations just like this.

Teens for some reason need something to critique, someone to put down. But you know who's going far in their life?? Those select few who had a goal, to go to uni, be a doctor, a lawyer, and stuck to it, didn't let anyone tell them they can't or they're not good enough/ pretty enough. Those who are miserable all there life (and I have proof) have ended up, 20 years later sitting there as ad

[FoxeQuEsTrIaNLoVe07]

@4TheLoveOfPoniesX Yes it is very hard theres so much going against you at this age!!!

[CookieCrumbs31]

We are so simuliar,our stories...they're almost the same! When my grandfather died...Thing just weren't the same!I know exactly how you feel.And i always move too...Thanks for sending me this video!(:

[FoxeQuEsTrIaNLoVe07]

@CookieCrumbs31 yeah losing a relative sometimes really effects you..glad you liked the video:) if you ever need someone to talk to just msg. me via youtube:)

[weeky13]

@FoxeQuEsTrIaNLoVe07 reeding this makes me happy (:

remember that you are special, you don't have to hate yourself xx

[FoxeQuEsTrIaNLoVe07]

@HeelsDownRider Thank you soooo much:)

[FoxeQuEsTrIaNLoVe07]

@weeky13 Thank you very much and no I don't plan on it I don't cut myself so yeah... most of the thoughts put in the video was also from other people...

[weeky13]

Ugly? You?! Are you kidding me? :O you are BEAUTIFUL! and you have many great things!

please, don't do crazy things, anybody's perfect and you know it, but you are perfect in your own way, don't forget it :)

You don't have to hate yourself, you are a really strong person, don't give up ;D

you are really brave to share this, I admire you, really.

Sorry for my bad english, but I had to tell you that <3 xx