Sweet Little Lies - Keanbean original

Sweet Little Lies by Keanbean
just a rough draft... suggestions welcome. in particular, how do you feel about the chord change in the second part of the second chorus?
and yes, i do love Fleetwood Mac very much.

lyrics:

oh baby, baby, baby, please
let me go, let me leave.
it doesn't have to be this way
but if i stop what can i say?
i never wanted it to be
any more or any less.
but when you took me so easily
i dug my heels into the ground

take it all, i take it all back
i take all the words i said.
take my lies, my sweet little lies
take my lies instead

how can we go back
to those days when you lay
between my arms, you were safe
but i was scared, i was afraid
that when i told you i could be
something more to put you at rest
i was lying through my teeth.
my love is lost, she cannot be found

Category:

Music

Tags:

• sweet little lies
• keanbean
• original
• acoustic

[ViolentRiC]

Okay, I'll skip the part where I compliment your vocal style and freshness, and get straight to the more constructive part. The chord change at approx 2:57 took me by surprise, and didn't seem to fit at fist. Fiddling about with those chords (C#m to Bm), it seems as though they should work fine, but within the context of the full song there's something slightly amiss. From experimenting, I found that a Bm7 had a slightly softer sound which transitioned more nicely. Might be worth checking out.

[keanbean]

@ViolentRiC hmm. i kind of like that. still not sure if i just want to keep it the same as the normal chords in the chorus or do this transition. the Bm7 does soften it up, which may work. great suggestion. i think the only way i'll really be happy with changing it up is if there is a contrasting stings line or something to direct upward as it falls through these chords.

[BlueNote27]

I just keep listening to this over and over. #signofagoodsong

[LC1Banana]

Never regretted the subscription Kean, keep up the good work!

[MsRakoe]

I need this song on my iPod :)

[stiffupperlip4]

very good song. it reminds me of a mixture of morrissey and sufjan stevens. and I liked the chord change at the end.

[CKconcerts]

brotherrr, I love it!

I look forward to hearing it in person soon! :]

[RadioheadLvr1]

love this song

[BlueNote27]

We can have a full theory discussion later but gut reaction after hearing it a couple times- it's jarring. And that's fine, except for the fact that the rest of the song is just so damn well-crafted that I don't think that it makes it a stronger song. That said, if you did flesh it out with some orchestration it could work better but I think changing the vocal melody the second time through heading into the fun chords might help soften it for our ears. (Too much expectation if kept the same.)

[ShaneFoxX]

First of all, I'm ALWAYS impressed by your vocal range, I love the tone of your voice, and your playing is always impressive!

BUT your songwriting is amazing! I wonder why you are not signed yet?

Have you autoproduced an EP ou album by any chance?

*favorited*

[danielinsporto]

so my idea: as you were playing the song, radiohead's "I will" kept popping into my head, particularly during the chorus, so what if you threw in a reference to that song at the end of yours? describing the idea is kind of hard, but i think you'll see what i mean when you try it. when you sing "take my lies", try it like this (repeating "lies" twice) A F# A F#

Take my Lie - es, Lie-es.

And end it on an A flat.

let me know what you think!

[danielinsporto]

first off, amazing job. its good to see that all your hard work, learning and absorbing the music you've done covers of, is paying off. you're a great example of how music perpetuates and evolves: you listen, you learn, and from that you make something new and awesome. high five.

i have an idea about the song, too, but it wouldn't fit in this comment..so i'll post another one.