My Anorexic Story!

Here is a peak into my history of eatingdisorders.

This is the story of me...
In a few words.
You have heard it before, but still I'm different.
I am 23 right now, but I have been dealing with this for almost as long as I can remember.

when I was about 11 I didn't know how to deal with my pain and feelings. So I turned to food.
when I got home from school I turned to the
cupboards for something to chew, to eat...
To make me not think about anything else!
I did this for years. Not really knowing why I did it.
Occasionally I would try to diet and lose weight. I was flirting with the obsession of losing weight and being thin.

When I was 17 I really did it. Didn't eat for a week, lost some weight, and I was
really trapped in my own world consisting of
hiding and avoiding food. Food was my enemy, and I was spellbound 24/7. Slowly people started to notise what I was doing. I was sent to the school's doctor.

My weight went up and down. I was starving, bingeing and purging and using laxatives. After seeing the school's doctor for a year, he wanted me to be admitted to hospital. But there was no place for me.
Not for 8 months...

I stayed at the hospital for six months. Not much better when I got out... I kept losing weight that summer, and in september '04 I was admitted again.
But this time against my will! I stayed there for 8 months.

I had gained about 25 pounds, but in my head I was still anorexic. But something was better... I was actually living a bit that summer.

I started nursing-school in 2005, but I was living as an anorexic/bulimic. I was seeing a therapeut, but I lost a lot of weight again. All 25 pounds.

Since june of '06 I have been in and out of
hospitals... Had a feedingtube for six months...
I have been admitted over a dozen times for my eatingdisorder, in both psychiatric and somatic hospitals and I haven't seen the end of it yet...
I am still fighting what seems like an endless cycle of low self-confidence, distorted images and a fear of food.

They say it is possible to recover! That is my only hope. That is what I am still living for! Becasue if we don't have hope, we are lost!
I can not feel the hope every day, but I have learned through therapy that I wouldn't have been alive today if not something, deep down in my heart, didn't believe it, and I had the will to survive.

Category:

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Tags:

• anorexia
• anorexic
• bulimic
• bulimia
• story
• ana
• mia
• eating
• disorder
• eatingdisorders
• thinspo
• recovery

[LoveLifeNotED]

sweetie your video made me sad. please keep fighting for recovery.

[annehn]

Thank you! I will keep on fighting! :)

[bellagurl64]

I believe you can recover. God bless your soul

[tuclvr4u3]

I love this song <3 i know it so well(: this is so sad! u need to keep fighting!

[Ziara2411]

Keep fighing you know snokkie had the same problem. You can win this battle

[xxangierulzxx]

@wizzalicious10 please dont give up hope i understand fighting the thoughts but in the back of your head you know that its wrong to keep starving please fight for life.

[rainaa1997]

how are you now?

[tthana3]

Sigue adelante go.. Lucha

[wizzalicious10]

Hi...I am happy you are trying to recover, keep fighting for it. I am afraid I have given up. It's too hard fighting the thoughts all of the time. I wish you well and will keep you in my prayers. Maybe when you finish nursing school, you can work with others who suffer from eating disorders.

[AbbyGorilla]

@makeupbykennedy11 She was just trying to show how skinny she got by showing almost her whole body. She didn't mean for people to be grossed out.. And what's wrong with breasts.? Every women has them.. They aren't so gross to me.. But that might be because I have them...

[UnCreativeBeliever]

what's the song?

God bless.