Contradictions

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Here are the words...


I hate being your yo-yo
I hate feeling that you want me then dont need me
To feel loved and then rejected
This is how you have me feeling everyday

Finding your love
Then not feeling your warmth
How can I believe that you have more than feelings for me
How can I trust that you want me more

You keep giving me hot and cold
You are here then your there
But every time I am near you
I feel the heat

I feel the raw tension
The true emotions

And then you contradict yourself with your absence
With the lack of time you give me
With the emptiness of space

I am valuable
I am a good girl
I am strong

And with you I fell less valuable
I want to be naughty
And I feel weak

I hold on to what it is you see in me
And then I want to let it go
You make me a contradiction
Thinking I want you and then wishing I didnt have you

Please stop using me as a yo-yo
I dont think I can keep going up and down
Im getting ill by the constant motion
Im getting ill by your constant lack of commitment

Why cant we just make it simple
Make this thing we have between us easy
Do you want me or not
Do you need me or am I just someone to fill up empty time

I cant keep pretending I like being your yo-yo
I dont know how to tell you that I want to break free of this game
If I tell you Im afraid you will run
Im afraid you will ask me how do I think there were any emotions between us
Im afraid you will see me as the pathetic one

But its a risk Im willing to take
A risk so that I wont keep battling with myself
Battling you on wanting me

I rather break you off and never speak to you again
Then keep having you hold me close to your heart and not having your heart
I just want to feel the calm instead of feeling a storm
Maybe to feel the calm I must remove you

Shed myself of you
And not look back
Take a path without you in it
Erase all the memory of you

Erase all imprints of you on my heart
And cut the string on my yo-yo
I feel like this is the only way I will rid myself of you
My darling, my torture, my puppet master...

I dont want you to pull at my strings anymore
I want to live free from you

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• heartache
• pain
• yearning
• wrong
• love
• relationship
• writing
• boyfriend
• girlfriend
• broken
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