Voltaire - Dirtiest Song that Ain't OFFICIAL

SCROLL DOWN FOR LYRICS:
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This song was inspired by those songs that hint at dirty words then switch them with other words. You know like, "Rosie had a turtle, she also had a duck, she put them in the bathtub to see if they would, bang bang Rosie, Rosie bangs all day.." etc etc.. My dream is that some day this song will be played on morning radio! lol!

Credits:
Aurelio Voltaire- Vocals/Guitar
Brian Viglione- Drums
The Red Hook Ramblers- horns

Lyrics:

I've been 'round for a long time
And I learned along the way:
If you wanna go on the radio
There are words you just can't say!
Well, I thought hard about it
And I found a way around it

To help me go on the radio, you gotta say the words I can't.
You got to sing along to make this song
The dirtiest song that ain't.
Come on, ma'am, won't you give me your hand
And say the words I can't?
You got to sing along to make this song
The dirtiest song that ain't

Down in Carolina
I met a girl with a nice [...]
So I reached down between us
And I whipped out my [...]
Skipped right past the suckin'
And got right down to [...]
She turned and said: "I gotta ask,
Would you slip it into my [...]?"

Help me go on the radio and say the words I can't.
You got to sing along to make this song
The dirtiest song that ain't.
Come on, ma'am, won't you give me your hand
And say the words I can't?
You got to sing along to make this song
The dirtiest song that ain't

Her husband was a trucker
He was a filthy mother[...]
I didn't wanna wrastle
With this no-good stinkin' [...]
I heard him come through the kitchen door
When I was bangin' his filthy [...]
I knew I'd end up in a ditch
If he caught me ridin' his [...]

Help me go on the radio and say the words I can't.
You got to sing along to make this song
The dirtiest song that ain't.
Come on, man, won't you give me your hand
And say the words I can't?
You got to sing along to make this song
The dirtiest song that ain't

"Mercy, please!" I told him,
But he grabbed me by the [...]
And he did something heinous
He exposed his [...]
I said "I don't mean to seem crass,
But why are you buttering up your [...]?"
He said "My wife's a beard, and she lured you here.
'Cause I'm queer and I love it in the [...]"

You helped me go on the radio by saying the words I can't.
You have to sing along to make this song
The dirtiest song that ain't.
Sir and ma'am, thanks for lending a hand.
By saying the words I can't.
You have to sing along to make this song
The dirtiest song,
The filthiest song,
The dirtiest song that ain't.

• Category

  Music

[TomWadeNoMorals]

I think a guitar lesson is required for this song! I've been trying to work it out for ages now and it's getting frustrating that i can play all my favorites but not this one ;(

[VoltaireMusicPage]

Tune your guitar down a full step like I do then play the open chords E minor, A minor and B7. That should do it. ; )

[TheDjones04]

Voltaire. Last year in Charlotte NC you asked me to come up on stage with you to sing this song...but first you licked my nipples and molested me....and I was totally cool with it.

[VoltaireMusicPage]

Ha! I remember that..... fondly!  Or is that.... "fondling?" LOL!

[juggernaut00]

He is actually friends with Artix. He usually shows up to the AQ panels at conventions they are both at, to perform some of his songs. It's a good time.

[Andrew Giarrusso]

Of course he knows, if he didn't he could sue them for not letting him know.

[peacefullbanana]

Do you know that you once been on AQ- worlds which is an online game? :D

[RandomMe72]

Please come visit Norway :|

[Pack Leader]

it say's on wiki that your a professor at a college and after listening to most of your songs now i've got to ask, has anyone nicknamed you the nutty professor yet? if not, can i be the first? :)

[Manzana1C]

I might be a dude, im not gay. either.. but if that story is true im gonna buy every single ticket for the next concert...

[PansexualSnowLeopard]

This is possibly the greatest i've sang out loud in my house. I hope the neighbors don't mind.

[FlucifertheFallen]

ok who here found themselves actually singing the words that were 'censored'?

[Pack Leader]

after listening to your music for the last two hour's, i gotta ask. the fuck do you smoke to get the idea's for these lyrics?!?