VLOG: Depression and Medication, No motivation Low self esteem

just vlogging. feeling severely depressed. I also have a question about a medication....

Category:

People & Blogs

Tags:

• depression
• depressed
• borderline personality
• cutting
• low self esteem
• pristique
• abilify
• klonopin
• ambien
• medication
• stress
• shame
• guilt
• vlog
• drugs
• addiction
• trichatilomania
• depersonalization

[euphorium420]

i can really appreciate everything you're saying. just know you're far faaaar from alone. i was stable on kratom for a year, no opiates at all. as a result of my disipating health i have recently suffered a seizure forcing me to abstain from what amounts to the only thing keeping me free of benzos, opiates, alcohol,etc. we'll see what happens in the future. i hear people have had luck with poppy pods but its really just trading habits at this point.. bah fuck it, life stinks.. so does klonopin

[BeautifulHyster1a]

@euphorium420 yeah it sucks soo much, i hate the withdrawl....i cant tolerate it much cus when i get into withdrawl i start getting really emotional, start getting depressed in the worst way possible, dont wanna live etc....i want it all to just stop.

[StomperReed]

BeautifulHyster1a I have been watching you for awhile I think you make really great videos. Your funny in them but I like you cause you also are real like in this video I can relate I have anxiety and panic and cant get my meds Xanax works for me and I know what you mean about klonipon it calms but doesnt take away the panic. I have felt depressed for a long time now and I also try to make funny videos but I'm still very depressed and anxious. Anyway I Hope you get well! I understand. Peace

[BeautifulHyster1a]

@StomperReed yea i know, if anyone can relate to me or i can relate to them its you, weve got alot in common-i think. and ive been wathing your vids for a while now, and youve been watching mine. This benzo addiction is the most horrifying thing in the world, no horror movie can compare to it when it comes down to the withdrawl symptoms with psychotic episodes. i really wih i felt something, but i feel sooooo so numb its driving me crazy and im scared to lose my mind. ;[ anyways thanks -jane+t

[princessbara89]

know that you are beautiful and everythimg will be alright dont let life get you down everybody has problems just try to make the best of ur life n go out n hang out with friends or go somewhere to have fun.hope u feel better :0)

[BeautifulHyster1a]

@princessbara89 i appreciate that, i know there are people with worse problems than me....i just cant cope with mine and i guess i need to be on medication because ive been feeling this way for years and years and its only getting worse. right now theres a "bad luck: streak thats going down down down for me, its just getting worse and worse..my problem is that i cant go out with friends because im shy and have social anxiety around others so its difficult for me to go out and have fun. thanks ;)

[bumwizard1]

hey what kind of TV is that?

[laurenandemily]

Man, my will to live was totally gone when i was using every day. I couldnt concentrate or find motivation to do anything. I was surprised how that shit cleared up when i stopped for 60 days. Sixty is the key to start feeling different. I'm not sure where' youre at right now. good luck.

[euphorium420]

@BeautifulHyster1a agreeeeed. i can deal with the aches and pains, nausea, whatever, the panic and sadness is just a life ruiner though. seems impossible to beat mentally.

[euphorium420]

@DaveErving amen brotha. preach!

[DaveErving]

I know how you feel it's like being helpless. It wouldn't screw with me so much if other countries that HAD heroin maintenance programs still had these problems. THEY DON'T!!IT WORKS. METHADONE MAKES PEOPLE ZOMBIES! I never understood replacing heroin with many other drugs.whether it suboxone and benzos or meth and benzos. most people take the benzos to get the high!I'm forty, I'm getting to a place I can't get back from, it sucks. PEOPLE CAN DRINK ALL DAY BUT I CAN'T HAVE A SHOT TO SAVE MY LIFE

[DaveErving]

I've been on Methadone for five years and haven't worked a day since I started. I don't even get outta bed except to go to the clinic. When I was on dope I worked everyday, first to work, last to leave. My boss fucked up and I had to go on Meth!!!! In Switzerland and other countries they give heroin addicts heroin(sometimes free). They tried all that pycho-drug shit on me but heroin was all that worked. Even counselors tell me to move, yeah like that's possible. WE NEED THAT PROGRAM HERE

[princessbara89]

@BeautifulHyster1a yeah am shy too soo i ususally go to the mall or to the movies by myself alot and it just helps me relax and take my mind off stresses and problems in my life. but just u know do something that makes you happy

[wrwerwerwedfdfdfd]

i feel the same way ;/